Colorado Dipped

mountain riverbed
gold against blue aspen fire
drive dipped in heaven

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waterfall delights
imaginative girls’ eyes
a doll’s paradise 

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toes dipped in ice falls
while leaves leave us dipped in gold
summer dipped in fall

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Teach Like a Champion

ten months ago, dead:
my heart, when you told me that
(teaching is in me)

but you couldn’t teach
you could only criticize
i’m phoenix rising

with hate, you inspired
with love, i put students first
and guess what? we win

a perfect lesson
fits into care and action
not criticism

if only you’d see:
guide a better tomorrow
we’d want to stay here

but we’re not all strong
or feathers-renewable
with love, you could win

with love, we will win
my students and i? winners
please don’t burn feathers

tap your inner soul
for god’s sake, read the right book
allow us to fly

The Real Common Core

staff development:
the after school detention
for over-booked teachers

grading until ten:
another form of torture
i put myself through

tomorrow’s feedback:
priceless words that they’ll revise
i live, love for them

The Smallest Things

five empty baskets
consolation for my soul
when grief engulfs joy

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Before the Bell Rings

Sitting in the dark, my door always open, he was waiting for me. I can’t arrive before seven this year, and I told him that when he already asked. There he sat, one year and seven months from a journey between Iraq, Turkey, and Afghanistan, trying to decipher the ever-coded language of Fitzgerald, totally unaware of such a thing as a speak-easy, alcoholism, mistresses, or sin.

And how could I explain, in the seventeen minutes before the bell, the demons of our society? Doesn’t he have tucked in his back pocket enough demons of his own?

“All honors classes, this year, Miss. And I guarantee I’ll be out of your remedial reading class by the end of the semester.”

But here we are, September 16. And he’s drowning in a bucket of noon-drinking Gatsby.

“Did your teacher (the newbie, I’m keeping internally) tell you anything about the Prohibition? About illegal smuggling of alcohol? About bars under the streets?”

“No. He just told us to read chapter four and answer these questions.”

The first one asks for a college-level interpretation of why Nick begins the chapter with the world taking its mistress at Gatsby’s while everyone else is at church on a Sunday morning.

“Oh, Mohammed…” It is all I can say. He will not have time to finish the chapter, to check out the movie (as I suggest), to thoroughly respond to questions that his limited English and foreign background will keep him from understanding.

And this is when my heart breaks, before the bell rings. Before it is fully light, before I even need to turn on the fan. It breaks for the journey, the immigrant’s journey. It breaks before and after dawn, in those hours I spend marking his papers but not beside him at his desk.

I cannot explain, in seventeen minutes, how demons have overtaken our society, 1922 or 2014. I cannot define all the words or find the subtle undertones of the great American novel.

I can only help him with a few questions and hope he will survive the journey, just like all the journeys he has carried across three continents.

Eye of the Storm

after-death clean-out:
desk too big for any room
memories replayed

pictures old and new
as far back as pain will reach
childhood relived

my life: email eye
spying on my every move
wait for responses

girls spin through crying
once it was: feed me, change me
now? essay, read, bathe

single motherhood:
just one week, and not for me
(found him at nineteen)

rushed dinners, yelling
later: lawn, Where’s Waldo search
we’ll never find him

his day versus mine:
turmoil a different tune
loss and love, rebirth

how they bring me joy
after all the years and tears
how they bring me joy

Hope Devoured

mid-day, he flies home
all afternoon i cook hope
form: chicken divan

an old recipe
that i made for their visits
but i wrap up now

to console still-birth
and recall family presence
even when they’re gone

the youngest cries out
because she is daddy’s girl
his phone face is brave

girls devour hope
pile ice cream for dessert
before his mom dies

asleep beside him
she heard him calling her name
she could let go, rest

midnight he’ll be up
flying home faster in dreams
regret, remorse, grief

the only one there
as she brought in her last breath
his worst fear present

the youngest cries out
as his siblings fill the house
he’s a mama’s boy

without his mama
no brave phone face, only tears
life’s a rented dream

Life. Love. Loss.

before dawn message
asks permission for my love
i’m awake, ready

my soul sister breaks
before the sun emerges
i’d give her my life

sleep is a present
unpresent in this week’s life
seven days of hell

he flies tomorrow
what if he doesn’t make it
in time for her death?

my girls play the wii
squealing with best friend’s pained joy
parents’ illness wins

and yet they smile
dress up in formal attire
perfect for their game

living life scares me
as i list all my boyfriends
kindergarten up

ask him to recall
if he searched for love like me
or found it at home

he cannot answer
too consumed by coming grief
losing his mother

they will play all night
and go vacation their dreams
never knowing loss

that is what i want
no search for school boyfriends
just love at home. LOVE.

Cheers and Tears

longest week ever
ending with happy hour
tears still in ducts

Memorialize Him

because he came in
and wrote with us a class poem
when we were thirteen

because he’s your dad
forget the swallowed disease
because he made you

for twenty-eight years
your mom gave her life to him
because she loved him

because demons live
even if we wished they’d die
that is why, that’s why

because he deserves
what a father, husband should
he’s not forgotten

because you found him
in your heart, you always knew
that you would find him

the mother of three
raised at home with two parents
he was one of them

because of our youth
the car, recording our voice
and all the journals

he’s in every one
saw through demons to love you
because he loved you

you are my best friend
and he made you, he made you
that is why, that’s why