January sun
makes summer out of winter
joyful ice cream stroll
childhood
Underground
we’ll never be friends
i mean, she’s just too damn rich
(she’s so nice, i think)
but conversations
that end play dates in our ‘hood
put us in our place
it’s finally done!
it took so long to finish!
now the kids can play!
(unrelated: us
two basement woes, money lost
to floods and landlords)
million-dollar homes
do not need finished basements
but she won’t see that
and we’ll never talk
beyond the superficial
(it’s kept underground)
now the kids can play
1000 square feet: more space
between us and them
Two Birds… Different Stones
i won’t give in here
too early, too adamant
a long semester
they need the structure
in walls unlike those at home
where they’re free as birds
they’ll hate me for it
but learning is needed more
than a text message
but how their wrath wins
with flippant parents’ lose tongues,
lack of discipline
my daily fight ends
with bickering daughters, cries,
skipping yoga class
table talk of love
afterward: apologies,
coloring, and peace
i will give in here
love lies deeper, lasts longer
flies free as a bird
Pieceful Peace
red-letter day starts
with no meetings, extra plan
and ends with yoga
all baskets empty
week of copies, lesson plans
teacher’s piece of peace
students were pleasant
chess-club-induced quiet house
recharges my soul
soon they’ll bombard me
with high-strung voices of youth
different piece of peace
i’ll take the pieces
fit them into life’s puzzle
each day can bring peace
Catch Me a Moon
before dawn, i walk
full moon of icy danger
to be there for them
classroom lit, open
first day, students new to me
i set standards high
phones, backtalk, shouting
first impression resistance
shake me to my core
after school begging
for schedule changes, fallbacks
they hate and love me
i missed my girls’ smiles
their good-morning kisses, hugs
to face this chaos?
slushy post-school walk
to their bright eyes, warm faces
lost in built-up play
then, online ranting
plagiarizing grown student
demanding grade change
why you, and not them?
the question of my moon day
please… catch me a moon
make it bright like them
shining beyond snowy morn
lighting, guiding love
Enjoy Them
new year, back to work
meetings, trainings, pointless tests
(testing our patience)
no students today
semi-empty corridors
echo their absence
new resolutions
data, observations, goals
flood the teachers’ souls
i walk my mile home
with two six packs; ignore looks
(a friend’s thank-you gift)
girls are jubilant
a day alone with daddy
bright as this sunset:
Cry Babies
realization:
i’m halfway through motherhood
(though it never ends)
ten-year-old letter
brought me back to those first days
late-night crying babes
but ten years from now?
they’ll all be out of the house
i’ll cry, my babies
when i open it
will my heart be sad, or lost
or, at best, hopeful?
will i be relieved
to think of my youngest girl
sitting in my lap?
or devastated
because she no longer will?
oh how i love them
but i’m halfway through
they’re better skiers than me
(and everything else)
no more crying babes
just the lust for lost moments
that hurt us then, now
Planning. To Not Plan.
what secrets are found
in twenty years of letters?
and what dreams will come?
at sixteen, desperate
first love turmoil, heart crushed
i lived for friends, love
at twenty-six, scared
new baby, husband’s lost job
i lived on blind faith
now, thirty-six,
my life begins to balance
career, family… home??
sleep in which bed, house?
on which continent–east, west?
in whose arms–mine, his?
the letter will tell
my thirty-six-year-old goals
where my heart beats now
but heartbeats have wings
my girls will be all grown up
the world will change
i hope to keep up
with the childlike soul i dreamt
as a young lovebird
while at the same time
accepting life’s challenges
and… i can’t plan them
Write of Passage
our boots squeak with snow
light as sparkling feathers
quiet city streets
middle one agrees
to traipse in winter beauty
so much like her mom
this brings me to peace
from sleepless, sorrowful nights
my words lost, then found
like our snowy prints
only seen from right behind
otherwise ignored
my most precious gift
recorded for all my life
despised by loved ones
perhaps she will walk
behind my wordy footsteps
her write to escape
for now, quiet snow
i accept what i can’t change
and keep on writing
Holiday Visit
my far-off cousin
the brother i never had
how i love, miss him







