two strikes in two weeks
stuck in dogless house, no raise
rescinded promise
this is why they leave
flee the profession in droves
no faith, no support
the burden bears down
when carrying three years’ weight
regrets that trail me
i want to feel good
like the queen of my career
not the peasants’ pawn
but here i am, stuck
wondering when it’s my turn
to win my luck back
choices
Parental Dilemma
the things i will do
to win what love my girls give
sometimes hurt us all
Endings Everywhere
with tear jerking news
the week is only half done
endings everywhere
i’d pray for results
or let blind faith lead the way
to next day’s surprise?
everything behind
these heart-wrenching decisions
twists inside my soul
letting go: an art
i haven’t mastered just yet
please show me the way
Consolation Prize
i don’t understand
what you’ve done with these students
since last semester
i saw rowdy freshman
who wouldn’t listen to me,
the sub… anyone
and now with rigor
they listen, think, read, and write?
how did you do it?
i mention The Book
(not the missing feedback talk)
i smile and nod
(consolation prize:
yes, you’re a master teacher
but not good enough)
favoritism stings
when ideas are trapped beneath
brown-nosing bastards
Take Three
weekend redemption
the ice cream cones they wanted
the park joy for me
they’re so up and down
i could forget sunny skies
but then, why should i?
clouds will always move
but the sun burns heaven-bright
on their childhood
Ages and Stages
this parenting age
with their school-age arguments
is harder for me
i’d take diapers, cries
over back talk, bickering
that leaves me crying
parenthood lesson:
it never gets easier
heartbreaking my days
Promotion
his day and week off
waits before there’d be a bell
how can i say no?
pi day a success
although she tries to wreck it
doesn’t understand
(the lure of baked goods
can’t be wantonly handed
to palette-less grunts)
my interview fails
but why would i waste my time
on a blurred vision?
must. pass. Spanish test.
first? awards ceremony
(at least she’s honored)
then, family dinner
and Spanish happy hour
to close my chaos
never a moment
without a need, a desire
all for them, for us
Testing, Testing…
four hours of tests
in this windowless hell fest
Spanish comes to mind
lunch union meeting
complaints about white privilege
first world problems
(i want to tell them
comparison is joy’s thief
but they won’t listen)
afternoon calls home
to parents of failing kids
Spanish practice dos
then video view
lesson to evaluate
slim chance at progress
audio walk home
on a windswept cloudy March
words too fast to grasp
(Alice wonders why–
in Carroll’s Spanish version
–so many choices)
then daughters’ chess meet
and oldest’s plea for pi day
(dough pulled from freezer)
kitchen now stolen
by eggs, bowls and pastry cream
we drive to Wahoo’s
kids eat free tonight
run wild while hipsters drink
(we rush home to bake)
tripod ends my night
(yoga the only answer
to this chaos)
and now i’m writing
resolution of ideas
not broken by tests
Party On
morning to myself
planning till the end of school
party on, teachers!
PARCC is not so bad
but we are American
we’re born to argue
with kids opting out
to send snap chats of parties
who will get punished?
party on, teachers!
(i still fight for them, my loves
what else can i do?)
though schools bear the weight
of society’s choices
future pays the price
if i’d made the test
they would trust me and take it
knowing it’s real
but we aren’t trusted
we’re blamed, we bear the burden
the party’s on us
Wildlife
renewal of youth
snow melts a fresh round of spring
riding carousels
why wouldn’t you want
to see their sunny faces
romping through the zoo?
i don’t understand
ask peace from yoga nightcap
after goodnight hugs
i won’t stop writing
or being the mom i am
my words hang, waiting
you’ll analyze them
and wish that things were different
when they’re just the same
perfection scares me
i’d rather be secondhand
not worry for stains
for we are all marked
by the pieces that make us whole
glued together here
in this photo, see?
her eyes are my eyes, your eyes
wild through and through
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