education

Plea Bargain

/ lovizmytrio / 2 Comments

quit or try harder?
 plague of my life sits waiting
 under setting sun
 
 my daughters beg me
 for a morning to see them
 (no more predawn work)
 
 i try exercise
 to beg love for the body
 that i lost for them
 
 i give up dairy
 and drinking; saying bad things;
 but it’s not enough
 
 time swallowed by plans
 i will never quite finish
 (and ungraded work)
 
 i beg clarity
 from my second (lost) language,
 for tongue-trapped escape
 
 but it’s not enough
 to find that pivotal time
 lost in the shuffle
 
 i beg forgiveness
 from the self i promised me
 twenty years ago
 
 i hope i find it
 hidden in filtered sun rays
 that trickle through time
 
 

Snow Holiday

/ lovizmytrio / Leave a comment

these holiday gifts
in the form of flakes falling
make winter perfect

snow: what’s not to love?
silent city renewal–
few cars venture out

walking on a cloud
block after frosting-white block
to share tea, croissant

a break to catch up
on work, good books, coloring;
everything we need

and yes, a snowgirl
to add to our female fam
carrot nose and all

these “holiday” joys
gifts from some heavenly realm
make life worthwhile

January Flurries

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scheduling request
 based on lawsuits they have lost
 adds work to my plate
 
 there’s no equity
 for teachers, kids, or parents
 trying to get by
 
 so i’ll wake early
 make gradebooks for fake classes
 and do twice the work
 
 i just want to know:
 who has time to litigate
 with kids in their life?
 
 questions unanswered
 to close a winter Monday
 just sprinkled with sun
 
 
 
 

She Comes… I Stay

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burst from these dark days
 of post-holiday winter
 news to change a life
 
 (or ten thousand lives)
 cause that’s how many she’ll touch
 in her tenure here
 
 this comes full circle
 (the young-mother sacrifice,
 the risky Spain year)
 
 to work with passion
 to be led with compassion
 to love, love my school
 
 it’s all i’ve wanted
 thirteen years waiting for strength
 to be my leader

Extraction

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i’d like to break free
 like our DNA pea lab
 (alcohol release)
 
 they questioned this choice
 (this isn’t science class, Miss!) yet their eyes were bright
 
 bright eyes keep me sane
 when dark thoughts hover so close
 to this extraction
 
 they see where love is
 hidden in cells’ nuclei
 ready to break free
 
 
 
 
 

MLK Thaw

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walk for forgiveness
 for the fight for lost causes
 (that we still fight for)
 
 by some miracle
 this day is always balmy
 as we make our way
 
 scooters–a new trick
 to have me chase after them
 instead of dragged feet
 
 the mix of colors
 between sky, humanity
 carries this bright wave
 
 we walk for peace, love
 so we’ll always remember
 what not to forget
 
 we walk ’cause we can
 because peace comes in small steps
 found in winter warmth
 
 

Los Ganadores

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fourteen class hours
 in three days. cold winter walk
 to house of illness.
 
 


no breaks this weekend
 as oldest tells project woes
 (procrastination)
 
 middle craves pancakes
 but class again tomorrow
 allows no bake time
 
 (he’ll be up all night
 holding a pail for baby
 to give me this chance)
 
 as it’s always been–
 i work, work, work… he supports
 (and we’re all winners)

Retakes

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three times last week lost
 but i gave it one last try
 and he finally came
 
 this after new kids
 weren’t told their schedules had changed
 disrupting my class
 
 this after failed quiz
 that took half the class to start
 on crap computers
 
 after failed logins
 on no less than five machines
 forced copies, time lost
 
 after failed group work
 (new eval requirement
 that i’ll never pass)
 
 and pointless meeting
 number one hundred fifteen
 (equal to school days).
 
 but… he came to lunch.
 he redid, and passed, his quiz.
 so this day is won.
 
 

Thoughts During Testing, Phase 1

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half hour per kid
400 students to test:
nightmare formula

expectations lost
on those who make test money
(never worked with kids)

if they’d see our day
they’d cut this mindless bullshit
down to what’s needed

but they don’t know needs
they know only dollar signs
and we’re left to blame

Thoughts During Spanish Class

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another long night
 (i’d never lecture this long)
 yet my kids judge me
 
 i teach how i learn:
 modeling, demonstration,
 then application
 
 i plan; over plan
 think things through with them in mind
 everything for them
 
 yet it doesn’t work
 i’ve somehow lost touch with them
 and–worse–with myself
 
 i miss the old me
 so confident, outspoken
 not worried for loss
 
 now i question all:
 which kid hates me most, and why?
 will i keep my job?
 
 but the worst is dark:
 why can’t i be nicer… loved?
 why can’t i smile?
 
 i’ll go on, of course–
 house bought, girls in school, trap set–
 but at what cost? loss?