Ode to Computer God

my eyes burn with such distaste
that i cannot even see the good in you
your inadequacies pile up
like a hot load of shit
after eating too many chiles
and i want to pick up giant chunks
of it and splatter them
all over your face

just because you think you’re God
of the computer world
does not mean that you have
to fuck over the good deed
that i attempted today.

you know who you are.
and if you expect to see
any more hundreds of dollars
coming out of my measly paycheck
to feed your ignorance,
you better find a way
to make it up to me.

Keep the Best and Eliminate the Rest

They’ve all but hired a new superintendent for our school district. Googling her led me to her job-jumping status quo. First in Des Moines, then Tucson, but only in Tucson for two years. This is just like the last superintendent we had, who jumped from job to job, and he ran this district… well, into the ground, really. But that’s just my opinion. I must say I have never seen such an exorbitant amount of money spent on such ridiculous things. He spent it all on conferences, luncheons, unneeded administration, and mileage, then fled.

I found out about the new superintendent earlier today, right on the tails of me reading an article from the cover of Newsweek about education reform. They did a beautifully creative cover. In the background, written in chalk a hundred times, were the words, “Fire bad teachers.” Ouch. The article went on to explain that because of the unions, teachers have almost zero chance of termination after they acquire tenure. In fact, less than .02 percent!

I must say, having team taught for five years, I would have to somewhat agree with this article. It’s hard for me to accept that agreement, because I am a liberal, and of course I’m part of the teachers’ union. But at the same time, I’ve seen a couple—and I really mean just a couple—of teachers who really shouldn’t be teaching. If they don’t care about the kids’ education, how are the kids ever going to care? As a teacher of at-risk ELLs, this bothers me tremendously. I need my students to succeed more than I need for their white, middle-class counterparts to, because ELLs have a much higher likelihood of dropping out. So when teachers are ineffective, have poor management, and simply don’t invest care into what they do, it has a huge impact on students whose families might already be wary of the educational system (and teachers) as it is.

With our school district not only having to hire a new superintendent (who might not stick around!) to replace the one who fled, but also facing year four of drastic budget cuts, teachers and support staff are losing their jobs in every school. And who is leaving? Well, the new teachers, the probationary teachers, of course. Not a chance that anyone else would be considered to be put on the chopping block, though I know for a fact that I am not the only one who feels that there would be some different, weaker teachers in our school who should go instead of strong, new teachers whose only weakness are their hire dates.

So I will admit that the system has flaws. What began more than a hundred years ago as an attempt to improve salaries and benefits for teachers has now, in effect, backfired and hurt our children. Just as the Newsweek article pointed out, now that women have more choices about careers, most won’t choose teaching, and most public school districts pick teachers from lower-performing colleges. And so many teachers enter the career having minimal training in classroom management, which is the most important factor for student success.

But what are we supposed to do? Reform an entire system in an attempt to find and keep good teachers and fire bad ones? It is possible, but again I become discouraged by Newsweek’s, and other more conservative media’s, simple answer to this question: base teachers’ pay and rehiring on students’ test scores. This cannot be the determining factor, and here is where my liberal blood boils. Being an ELL teacher, I see how weak students’ scores are on standardized tests for the first several years that they are acquiring English. No teacher, no matter how effective, is going to be able to break down the linguistic barrier that hampers their success without years of language immersion and sheltered instruction. And with the percentage of ELLs increasing every year (this group, in fact, is the fastest growing population of students in U.S. schools), in every state, we need to use more data than test scores to evaluate teachers.

The truth is, there is no easy answer to the question of education reform. But it needs to happen. We need administrators, the U.S. Department of Education, and superintendents to stick with their school districts and to work with teachers (the ones in the trenches) to come up with solutions for reforming teacher evaluation techniques. If you ask effective teachers how they feel about ineffective ones, they are the first and most opinionated about calling out their weaknesses and admitting their need for removal, because those teachers’ ineffectiveness destroys what effective teachers are trying to do: educate our students to the highest level of expectation. And if we are all on board about what’s best for students (good teachers!) then we should all be able to work together to keep the best and eliminate the rest.

Dragonflie$

with two sets of glistening wings
that shine the sun in my eyes
you hover over our activities
searching the pond for prey

you are a mostly silent hunter
whose beauty is marred with your kills
yet, I can hear your wings flutter
above the water where I hold close my young.

your expertise skims the top of the pool
as you dip your sticky tongue to capture
all the smaller, weaker insects (us),
but behind you I can see the silky web

always, always, a stronger predator reigns
and before you can reach us with your lashing,
your wings are caught (their glimmering shine dulled)
and I know that, at least today, we are safe.

Consumerism on Presidents’ Day

We went to the mall today. Packed with shoppers. We almost never buy anything there other than a shake that we all share from Chik-Fil-A. We take the girls to play on the little play area and peruse the puppies in Pet City and to kill an afternoon without spending more than $5. Isabella had to go to the bathroom and suddenly we were in the back of Macy’s when we started looking at all the nice leather sectionals that were $2000. “When we get our tax return,” Bruce joked. Who has $2000 to spend on one piece of furniture? And that was the sale price, the Presidents’ Day sale.

We started walking out and the girls examined the plate sets, the men’s shirts, the towels and sheets. “Hey, this isn’t the mall, this is like a regular store!” Isabella announced, having never really been inside one there before. Everything was on sale, we could have got some real deals, $20 dress shirts instead of $40, a $15 lingerie Valentine set, already marked down the day after. All because… because why?

Why do we have the day off today? Have we all forgotten? Here we are stuffing ourselves with fast food concoctions and filling our shopping bags with sale items and doing anything but taking a moment to realize why this is a federal holiday. This is the typical American interpretation of a holiday: consumerism.

I’m sure Lincoln and Washington are turning over in their graves right now. What were they fighting for anyway? What have we forgotten in the course of 230 years? Is this really what freedom and equal rights and human sacrifice have all amounted to? A winter clearance of coats and boots in every store countrywide?

Sometimes I ask myself, what has this country come to? How is it that the things that sustain us—the buying and selling of goods—are the same things that destroy us? How can we simultaneously prevent and prepare for a recession, just as Einstein once asked the same question about war?

When I buy anything, I am wrought with guilt. I think about the person in China who made my product and a hundred others like it for a dollar a day. Instantaneously, I think of the store-owners and employees who will be out of work if I don’t buy more. I think of the destruction of natural resources from the production of each item. And I think of how spoiled we all are, how we think we need more than what we need, and how my children’s future will be impacted by this.

But today, as I witnessed sale after sale in honor of Presidents’ Day, all I could think about were arguably the two most influential presidents of all time and their idea of the American Dream. Did Washington read the Declaration of Independence to his suffering troops during the winter at Valley Forge, did Lincoln sign the Emancipation Proclamation and take the first step towards equality, for us to save a few bucks and add to the debt and environmental nightmare that we’ve been swimming in for years? And if this is how we honor our presidents, the leaders of this great nation, where is our country headed?

I can’t answer that question. I can only reach out and take my girls’ hands and lead them out of the mall. Perhaps this is the first and most important step to guiding the next generation in the direction of the real American Dream: the dream our presidents had, once. The one about freedom. Not consumerism.