White Christmas

her comments swallowed
like the Christmas morn semen
cranberry juice, please

i’m not defensive
just wish for white Christmases
like everyone else

i can win this game
Cards Against Humanity
with my best haiku

five girls are sleeping
in my parents’ bungalow
i love my city

my favorite movie
It’s a Wonderful Life, YES!!
live and Live and LIVE!!!!

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Winter Break

survived another
harried nonstop dash Monday
give me winter break

if i’d a real job?
i’d go home early when sick
not pop pills to last

i’d go out to lunch
have adult conversations
away from all kids

how tiring talk
not filled with young undertones
would surely make me

instead i’ll take this:
endless work weeks, sick through some
needy happy kids

and yes, winter break
no holiday turmoil
my kids all around

Labor Day

baby stops mid-hill
after fifteen miles, done
she’s still my winner

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i will wait for her
as we end this Labor Day
she is my last one

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my beach day Denver
filled with beautiful sun girls
swimming and cycling

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dreams are made this way
blue skies, wood-fired pizza, sun
and spinning tires

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confluence meets park
bike path meets Vittetoe fam
we meet our happy

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summer’s end flowers
and a zip line that beats Spain’s
best spent allowance

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unions gave day off
for sleeping in and waffles
life’s a rented dream

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i think in haikus
in between Monday cycles
that bring creeks and joy

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Laundry of Life

the morning breakdown:
poles, bags, pans, miracle trunk
pack our memories

quick stop for short hike
pass waterfall, aim higher
switchback to our view

it is a fine sight:
family of five, swollen legs
lake steals horizon

five showers, three loads
phone calls, dishes, and errands
aprés camp bed? YES!!

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The End

sunny day at end
after a stormy summer
last pool before school

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Covered

because i have lost it
the reader within me
the writer within me
kept silent by society
as i walk carrying
dripping wet shitty diaper
across creaky floors
and dog barks waking baby
and 7-year-old tears up
because i threw away the tooth chip
that she spit out of her mouth
after she fell off broken branch
and my oldest begs to watch
while the dishes fill the sink
and the cousin dazes under allergy meds
and the person i used to be?

she is the road through the forest
captured on a Tennessee run
while we run from Tennessee
while i run from Tennessee
tree-covered tunnel
going nowhere

because i have lost it somewhere
along that empty road
covered, covered, covered in leaves
how they block the woman i could be
the mother i could be
the view into a new tomorrow
that’s just around the corner
that i can’t quite see

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Agua de Vida

hot springs aquifer
sulphur carved what man could not
nature’s history

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Sierra Nevada

Spain’s snowiest peak
its cold has blown away hope
siesta beats all

Cave, Sweet Cave

Hobbits for two nights
Andalusia’s secret
take the back way home

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Cancellations

Mythili is eight. She’s named after an amazing woman who speaks three languages with the fluency of a native speaker, two of which my Mythili will never know.

I came home a bit early tonight. My oldest, Isabella, named after my sister, walked the eight blocks necessary to meet me after tutoring so we could find her some semi-leather boots that match mine. Isabella is almost ten. She can just about fit into half of my clothes and has a much keener sense of fashion than me. I don’t know how I’d shop without her.

I was home early tonight because my life revolves around cancellations. Cancel the job I’ve loved and lived for for seven years. Cancel the program for which I sacrificed everything. Cancel my private English tutoring sessions on a weekly basis, because for you it is a bonus, a brief education. For me? Just another cancellation of my semi-automatic life.

Time is money. I say this now because cancellations can be golden.

These are the words I heard tonight, as Mythili voluntarily read books to her baby sister:

“Mama, did you realize the Statue of Liberty was built in 1826?” (Isabella)

(Mythili from other room): “1886, I read 1886!”

(Me, in same moment, recalling the specific childhood memory: 1986. Age eight. Trip planned to New York City for grand celebration of one hundredth anniversary [July 4, 1986] of said statue. Mother and father holding my hands in their hands to break to me: “We’re going to have to cancel this trip. Your surgery is scheduled for that week.”)

“Isabella, it was 1886.”

Riona, the Irish queen, as diplomatic as her regal name: “Mythili, where are those boats going?”

“They’re trying to get the best view of the statue. Remember this summer, at Jimmy’s house, we were on the mainland? But then we took the boat from one island to another to get the best view? Remember, Riona? They built the statue on an island.” (She refers to our summer trip, my cousin Jimmy’s house in New Jersey, the pain of my most recent Spanish cancellation so painfully present that the Staten Island free ferry was the only possible way to see Lady Liberty).

This is why we are here. In five years, they will read about the Romans. They will say, “Remember when we went to the Roman theatre in Cartagena?”

They will study Druids. “Remember when we visited Stonehenge?”

They will chew paella. “Remember the gambas?

They will be these small children, grown so grand, their life filled with cancellations. They will remember their parents’ hands on theirs, age eight. How they loved and hated Spain. How they cried, laughed, lived.

They will remember.