Day Thirteen, Road Trip 2015

a moment of risk
 on this never ending trip
 is what makes this pic
 
 kids brimming with grins
 now i sit in silent car
 grateful for this time
 
 i watch my uncle
 hands in tremors–sixty-five
 granddaughter in tow
 
 age recycles us
 into all we wanted here–
 just a yes, a yes
 
 

Day Twelve, Road Trip 2015

clay covered bodies
 splash across a Vermont beach
 wreaking love-havoc
 
 one idea spun
 across Colorado wheels
 makes their dreams come true
 
 the road’s life. managed.
 choices and back seat spaces
 (why we bought this car)
 
 “we’re not so different.
 i can tell you live for them”
 (so worth the long drive)
 
 a morning Maine call
 beach memories yet to make
 vibrant happiness
 
 this is my road trip:
 let the journey be better
 than its destiny
 
 

Day Ten, Road Trip 2015

drive starts with best store
 candy store within the store
 (we all need fill ups)
 
 green mountain state calls
 with back roads and endless views
 we make our way home:
 
 where we stand in rain
 and talk like it’s been three days
 (never mind three years)
 
 while the kids recite
 the spinning songs of preschool
 that spun us this time
 
 reunion’s beauty
 claws at my throat, my heart.
 rain can’t renew it
 
 this trip from my dreams:
 three years, three thousand miles–
 six hearts in one
 
 

Day Eight, Road Trip 2015

hanging out at home

girls play, sleep, we do yoga

easy transition
 
 tomorrow? the drive
 hubby’s new job starts at home
 (i’ll make my way home)
 
 upstate New York home
 in the arms of my best friend
 childhood relived
 
 driving my mind home
 we leave Kentucky for now
 (could have been home)
 
 the road takes us home
 on all our travels, faces
 where we find our hearts
 
 

Day Seven, Road Trip 2015

walk across downtown
 with my urban planning mom
 walking rating: zilch
 
 veggies are heavy
 when carrying Kentucky
 weight on both shoulders
 
 redemptive moment
 on green lake with blue kayaks
 (words he’ll never read)
 
 a campfire end
 to a summer daydream trip
 (only innocence)
 
 full circle i’ve turned
 since five years back, her birth year
 (my first niece. cousins)
 
 but he won’t see that.
 only weakness bearing down
 on our bright union
 
 love like this? just once.
 with dark swings on late porches
 he can’t even touch
 
 but for her bright eyes
 the firelit sunset eve
 forgiveness follows.
 

Day Five, Road Trip 2015

one last garden stop
 hard to say if we’ll be back
 beaches, lakes… await
 
 

Day Four, Road Trip 2015

a secret rope swing
 hidden behind leafy steps
 splash into heaven
 
 picture with Pappy
 grandchildren nearly grown up
 only photos last
 
 the force of magic
 light from cousin to cousin
 summer bright as night
 

  

By Heart

a freshwater lake
 found from memory; a hike
 better baptism
 
 childhood relived
 through my daughters’ newfound strokes
 saltlessly sweet taste
 
 coves around corners
 wind-whipped waves licking the shore
 new memories made
 

Day Two, Road Trip 2015

sunrise wake up call
 to start farmland forest view
 save me from the drive
 
 kids sleep, eat, play, grin
 laugh with their pit-stop cousins
 sunset goodnight view
 
 all America
 lies between the road and sun
 the love for travel
 

The Buck that Burns Across My Back

It is 14:52 on the eve of ESL summer school. We have spent an entire day, AN ENTIRE DAY, planning for a sixty-five-minute lesson from curriculum that we first laid our eyes on this morning after a completely different and unrelated ENTIRE DAY presentation of curriculum yesterday. And at this moment, he announces that tomorrow, for the first day, the schedule will be “different.” That all our lesson planning has just been flushed down the toilet that has become our society.

I cried on my two-mile walk this morning. Not because it was too hot, or the views of the Perfect Denver Neighborhood weren’t impeccable. Or because I had to teach summer school for four weeks to pay for summer camp for my girls for ONE. But because of an article I read about the University of Phoenix, of all things. About how, in five years, their enrollment has decreased by fifty percent. And starting July 1st, a new law will require that they prove that their graduates make enough money to pay back the loans that their for-profit greed has forced them to take.

I was thinking these things as I made my way across town to the locale of this year’s grant-funded summer school, the University of Denver, a NONprofit institution with gorgeous grounds and transgender bathrooms and air conditioning and classes that start at $1200 a CREDIT.

And how screwed I am. Not because I think that the University of Phoenix is so damn amazing that it could grind up the 100-year-old trees of Denver’s “Ivy League of the West.” But because I have to do this. I have to do this damn summer school and have a part time job as an adjunct-but-never-real professor, that I have to bend my will to the beck and call of disorganized, incapable-of-communicating administrators, all for the buck that burns across my back.

That the measly $600 that I sometimes earn in a month at the University of Phoenix is sometimes all that keeps us from bowing down to debt.

And when he comes in at 13:33 and tells me that they haven’t been able to contact more than 11 students for our summer school, I ask him if it will be cancelled, if I will be shit out of luck on all counts this Tuesday. “No worries… it’s already accounted for… a grant. No pasa nada.” And his blue eyes and Argentinian accent are slappable. “And who paid for it?” I demand, the third time in two months I’ve asked, a question he’s dodged until this moment. “Well… you have. The taxpayers. The READ Act.”

And it all circles back to me. The University of Denver grounds I stand on that have been manicured by professional gardeners. The school I could never afford to attend, nor will any of my children even think of applying to. The public education that is filled and funded with so many holes, twenty-seven gorgeous textbooks, full-color photos and activities galore, a slew of classroom supplies including an electric pencil sharpener, that 11 students will take advantage of … all the rest? To waste.

The “for-profit” evil University of Phoenix that has allowed my family to break free of the paycheck-to-paycheck cycle that is a teacher’s salary, that allowed us to live on a pittance in Spain, that has allowed me to… breathe.

What is an education worth? Why won’t parents commit to a forty-five minute bus ride for free materials, expert teachers, individualized classes, and free breakfast and lunch? Why won’t the University of Denver be asked to publish data on how many students graduate with a super-fancy psychology degree and start their salaries at $22,000? Why won’t our government ever just see that EDUCATION SHOULD BE FREE??

This is my Tuesday. Let the games begin. The Hunger Games, real world style.