November Daughters

Mythili

Freshly six, your latest
obsessions are your new Zhu Zhu
and the Tangled doll
with hair so long
I had to braid it on day one.
Just like when you were two,
you guard your possessions
as fiercely as a new mother,
holding them close to your chest
on all adventures, theirs and yours.
A year from now, what will you love most?
Will you have abandoned these items
for the latest movie character,
or have given in to your love of books,
your soon-to-be expert knowledge of words?
As I say whenever you ask me a question
that I’m not so sure of an answer to
(my response, in your eyes, a yes),
we’ll see.

Riona

With a long line,
a tiny half circle attached,
a diagonal drawn like a
ray of light across the page,
you have written the first
letter of your name. You ask
for more, and I feed them to you.
You swallow them up and
regurgitate the connected-dot i,
the perfect o, the upside-down n,
and the little a, a circle and tail.
And just as you are not quite sure
how to make the letters just right,
I am not quite sure how I am
going to stand here and watch you grow.

Isabella

Fifty-four pounds, almost half my weight,
you still ask me to carry you.
I reach around your skinny waist
and hoist you up, your arms
flailing wildly (impossible
for you to be still, even now)
as we move into your bedroom.
A kiss good night, a button on the iPod,
and you will listen to the same song tonight,
on repeat, that has played for six months.
I imagine your wedding day,
your groom picking you up in a dance.
Will you play this song, remember its waltz?
Or will I be the only one singing,
“Cantaremos alto, cantaremos bajo,”
until my heart can go neither high nor low,
but stay as neutral as your weight in my arms allows.

Forty Nine Degrees

the only time
forty nine degrees
can send thrills
instead of chills
is when
the principal’s voice
enters our classrooms
with a message
that sends even
the teacher’s arms
into the air
amongst jubilant screams
from the students:
“Early dismissal.”
Now that’s the way
to start a Monday.

Christmas Morning

it is what it is
whether you accept it or believe it
(me, neither)
a consumer’s holiday
propped up
with bells and music
church visits
and nativity scenes.
we lie to them
from birth.

somehow,
with enough eggnog amaretto
and song after song
gift after gift
we buy into
this charade,
inundating another generation
of false generosity.

Thanksgiving’s over.
Let’s shed ourselves
of the one truly American holiday
and head to the mall
where we can be
the sickening
self-absorbed
Americans we have all come
to love, come
Christmas morning.

Mixed

the time between then and now
could be a moment
or a thousand days.
it is blurry to me, mixed in
with the constant complaints
of blossoming children,
work that binds me,
responsibility that i
sometimes wish i could shed.

i still remember those youthful nights
that in no way i am now allowed.
you might remember too,
your passion mixed with mine.

i have tried to find it,
searching somewhere deep,
but even with my eyes closed,
mixed with characters who haunt me,
i cannot remedy what can’t be fixed.

Bicyclist

all i can see
as we drive home in silence
from a date
that we never get
that has allowed us no words
is the bicyclist
who races his pedals up the hill
nearly as fast as our pedals
can drive us
and how you,
you will never see
the beauty that i see.

Thanksgiving

i am better at this
just as you taught me
hand over hand
hand over arm
hand on hand
hand on arm

and now you?
calm as a summer breeze
in the midst of frigid temps
cradling them
in the layers of love
that were missing
from my childhood.

instead i’ll stand here
mashing my angst into potatoes
dicing up boiled eggs
slicing perfect candied yams
doing everything you taught me
and more.

the table is set.
the kitchen is spotless.
my children are loved.
and i should be so thankful
that i know how to do
all that i know how to do.

Steam

my pies are filled with
fresh cranberries
Colorado apples
King Arthur flour
pastry cream
fresh chilled butter
sinful sugar
decadent chocolate
and perfect recipes.

i wish i could fill these pies with the
muscles i took to pound them
time it took to bake them
dishes piled up in the sink
farmers’ market filled with apples
bog where they harvested cranberries

with the
ache that fits in between the
layers of fruit and cream
the ache that won’t escape
from the lattice-topped steam.

Muse

just as we found our muse
young as youth with words would allow
you have crept back into my life
and reminded me of passion.

it may dissipate like water
evaporating onto the lid of a pan
but the lid, the lid is solid
and will gather up the drops

release them back to where they belong
back to you, to me, to the youth
we all have within us, the words
escaping from our passionate mouths

like butterflies emerging from the chrysalis
reborn into the enthralling joy
that we once knew, that we will always have
with words, with words, with our muse.

Culinary Orgasm

Recipe for a happy Monday:
one witty email,
four friends,
twenty-two minutes,
two-day work week,
one cranberry-fudge pie
with graham cracker crust and
homemade cinnamon whipped cream:
one culinary orgasm.

Au Revoir

you may as well be a ghost
because you’ve haunted me more than most.
why do i have to see you here
when i’m surrounded by holiday cheer?

you’re embarrassed, though you won’t admit it
it is not my sin that you committed.
if you disliked the person you came to know
then why did you put on such a show?

i don’t edit, though it’s caused me pain
at least i’m real; you’re filled with shame.
perhaps those who love me are few and far
but at least i know how to say au revoir.