Honey-Drunk

You may work behind the scenes
to gather nectar,
flying about on
twisted bits of spring wind,
buzzing back into the hive
to lay down your sweets,
to relish in the taste
of foreign lands that
you’ve brought back,
to build up a honeycomb
so dripping with stickiness
that you forget your train of flutters.

But allow me to remind you:
I am the queen.
This is MY hive.
And you had better learn your place
before you get trapped
in a honey-drunk euphoria,
my stinger the only bite
you’ll remember when you wake.

Fancy

i don’t need a fancy gym or P-90x
i just rode thirty miles with the Vittetoe Express
my bike, tag-along, and a trailer daisy chain
may look to others just a little bit insane

but you’re popping out seven hundred a year
i spent eleven on coffee and cheer
when it’s sixty degrees in January
my legs and arms made a workout fairy

yes, it took six hours to visit the zoo
but i still made a deal better than you
i didn’t sacrifice one moment from my girls
and that beats all the muscles from your fancy curls.

Nineteen Minutes

i read her
sometimes misconstrued
words
that slap
our media-mocked society
with this
thick piece
of modern literature.

and i wonder
as i look at their faces
shuffling in and out
peaked smiles
defensive responses
invariable isolation

which one of you
i want to ask,
would take this horrid day
this horrid combination of days,
trap them in a bottleneck
until
the
whole
world
explodes?

Complexities

how can the same child
who spat those awful words
now bang on my window
with an exuberant grin?

just as i will never be twelve again,
i will never quite remember
the complexities
of the young adult mind.

Good

you want a set of different words
more complex than
the one i offer.
you may have a string
of compliments sitting pretty
on the poster they made for you,
but strangers’ mouths
could never put forth
what i see every day.

i wish i could wipe the words
you imagine i might say
right out of your mind.
our exchange is a hushed whisper
in this semi-dark classroom;
there is no space, no time
to envelop the elegance of thought
you put forth in everything
that you do for them,
that you ask them to do for you.

good may not be the response
you walked across the school to hear;
but just as i cannot define its significance
in the midst of the chaos i face
every time i leave your classroom,
i cannot define the perfect peace,
the depth of knowledge,
or the admiralty of your daily lessons
with any word, or words,
that would be adequate.

January Daughters

Isabella

is it an act of defiance
once again, or a child
wanting to be a child,
dashing into the night,
rolling down the hill
until bits of dried grass
stick in your Brownie vest
like petulant pieces of glue,
causing me to shake your shoulders,
my flustered fingers unable to remove
from your almost-eight tangles
the frustration your actions bring?

or is it me, your end-of-day tired mother,
unable to remember those hills
i rolled down as a child,
petulant pieces of green grass
imprinting triangular shapes on my skin,
as i hand over your punishment
on display for your peers to mock,
only to later see the stack of cards
on my nightstand, the supplicant sticky,
“these are the thank-you cards i rote,”
your grammatically correct misspelling
tugging at the mother, the daughter,
we were both meant to be?

Mythili

with two top teeth missing,
you blend into the crowd
of second grade girls
for a weekend of camp.
you are the youngest
of twenty, demurely asking
for help with your pajamas,
with the needle you can’t quite thread,
but singing along with the songs,
joining in on the games,
snowshoeing into the woods
as if your teeth had already sprouted,
as if you had already skipped
over kinder and first grade,
my little one wanting
to be all grown up.

Riona

from the moment of birth
after twenty-four hours
of fighting to emerge,
when you made less than two peeps
and settled in next to my skin
for a peaceful night of nursing,
to the quiet child who follows
Daddy to a job and speaks not a word,
who cuddles silently on the couch
with a fever that you’ll tell no one about,
i truly believe,
my youngest, angelic child,
that you were born
without a single complaint in your soul.

Triangle

as a duo
we were almost perfect,
a few flaws
pecking their way in.

now the triangle
of desire
has jutted into the mix,
expanding our guts
with bits of business
that neither of us
knows how to digest.

Heat

from pedals that won’t stop
for an hour battle uphill,
dry air pumping out of vents
trying to stave off winter,
muscles taut on my thighs
and hard-as-rocks calves,
the heat emanates,
even after sliding off the bike.

a lukewarm shower rinses
off bits of sweat, but it pops back
on my upper lip, my neck,
before i’ve even finished drying,
a reminder of how hot it will be,
how endlessly the pressure will build
as the heat of a May morning
rides with me to the top of the mountain.

Exchange

you have laid out the puzzles,
fixed the hot chocolate
in small pink cups placed before them,
popped the popcorn in the pan,
taken their small hands to form meatballs,
and set the table with
expensive wine, fine china,
everything that is beautiful and perfect.

we exchange the pieces of our lives
that mothers, daughters, friends, exchange,
handing them over as casually
as the French rolls you bought from the store
(dry, non-absorbent, bland as dirt).
i share my opinions as openly
as i know how, my heart set out
for you, mother, to remedy.

no amount of wine imported
from the Rhone River in France
will drown out the renewed realization
that the things i care for most,
the building blocks of my soul,
are blinded by the vision you have
of who you think i should be.

i exchange my words for silence,
then small talk that will lead nowhere.
it is safer for me to be that image
of yourself (the very part of you
that i despise, refuse to emulate)
than to cast away my weekend
with your distorted mirror view.

Candidate

you were born for this.
where are the voters?
i’m waiting for your
slanderous commercial
against candidates
who can’t compete.

it will surely follow
your quick quips
and intelligent,
well-read responses.

your video clips
and “inspiring messages”
are lost upon us, however.

please keep in mind
that your three-minute experience
with Mandarin Chinese
does not compensate
your obvious inadequacies.

we see your vision.
it’s as bright as the sun
on the first day of summer,
reminding us why we shed
these hard-earned skins
and spend those glorious months
with our children.

that time is something you,
10-month-old and all,
couldn’t possibly fit
into your perfect PowerPoint.

don’t worry, Dr.
we’ll watch the video
of today’s presentation
on YouTube.

after a few beers,
your words will be like the Mandarin:
foreign, bubbles burgeoning
out of the sea,
waiting for the moment
when the commercial will end,
when the reality of your ignorance
will shine in the summer sun.