you wouldn’t want to know
how i see the world
how its shadow always hovers
over its light

i wish i could push the clouds away
and hold in my hands the smiles
that pop out as easy as dust mites
on my children’s faces

but i feel the rain following me
the wind pushing at my cheekbones
and i wonder how i lost
where i lost
that innocent smile
that announcement of
i don’t have a horrible childhood
that they’re so sure to tell me
that i’ve worked so hard to create.