October (2011) Daughters

Isabella

you are too tall now
to stand as i braid your hair
your bridal veil and dress
await a night of tricks and treats
you tell me
i always wanted my hair like yours
when i tell you it’s my wedding day ‘do
and i think
how can this be,
my fingers intertwining strands of three
on my girl growing up
too fast before me?

Mythili

you take the words
from your sister’s homework
cup them in your hands
carry them in your heart
tap them with love
and pencil-thin art onto the paper
fold your story in half
and melt my motherly eyes
with your Spanish gift.

Riona

you move your way
through piles of work
with little whimpers of want
but tenacity gets you through
just as your patient smile
carries you through
everything else set before you.

Revolution

the miles are closing in
on the truest beauty i can see,
over hills my legs have carried me,
dragging the weight of the world,
freeing myself from all the weight,
all within the same tired revolution

i have kissed good night to hills,
climbed my soul over mountains,
fought my mind through snow,
drenched myself in sweat so thick
i was blinded by its persistence,
(blinded by my persistence)
the moon? it doesn’t scare me,
nor the stars on icy days,
nor the cars that think
they own the road

it is my road,
and i will ride it till tomorrow
(a new tomorrow)
a three-thousand-mile mark
on what a body can do
with a simple revolution.

Stroke

you take a grain of salt
and multiply
until you have a float-worthy sea
impossible to cross,
and as you attempt to swim,
those around you drown,
but you won’t reach out,
you won’t bail them as they flail,
you will only look forward,
head bent,
arms pumping through water,
breath escaping from your bitter lungs
as you splash under the sun
of the tomorrow that
you take from them
with every scathing stroke.

The Sun of this Sunday

they take bottles of clear liquid
wipe the sinks, mirrors, toilets
while we toil with decluttering
and four levels of vacuuming
all before eleven when we
snap ourselves into the tiny car
and drive along sun-streamed streets,
the leaves dancing before us,
letting loose green and gold shade.
we stop and walk to the apple stand
and buy small imperfects
that their hands grasp, juice dripping
before we’ve even ordered souvlaki gyros
to sit on the bench in the shade
and eat with Greek lemon-chicken soup
(i’ll never remember the name).
they skip back to the car
a menagerie of dresses and pants,
and trick-or-treat street awaits
as they measure their steps on the map
sucking in the sun of this Sunday.
we move on to the store that started it all,
the giant scoops of homemade dreams
melting along the sides of the cones
and as we buy our drinks for another day
we move to the library, their singsong voices
unable to contain their excitement over books.
we stop for gas, pack tomorrow’s clothes, lunch,
and evening seeps in to the autumn afternoon
they sit down to veggie sliders
and question our music
and ride their bikes into the night
and remind me
again
again
again
how simply perfect life can be.

Golden Raindrops

golden tinged with age
they fall like raindrops
onto the street
a carpet of conformity
a song for the season
i remember that day
the tiny yellow bus
your spirally hair
and the leaves leaves leaves
circling a halo of beauty
that we couldn’t capture then
nor now

i want to gather my golden raindrops
be fifteen again
when I could suck in
the marrow of life with no tomorrow

instead it is a passing moment
a portion of a chaotic drive
the street littered
with the beauty you saw better than me
the pain poking out
in mini tornadoes of silent sound
a day i will remember
a day i will forget.

A New Tomorrow

i will rise and wash away this day
i will remember yesterday
the passion that sandwiched
morning and night
the friendlovefriendlove
that has become my life
i will take my daughters’ words
embrace them in my arms
instead of throwing them back
i will be a new tomorrow

Specters

we are specters zipping along
this curvacious path,
our beams reaching for morning,
longing for night.

before i can blink
our tires zip by.
you are gone from
my limited view.

i will remember the
moon-touched path,
its snakelike guidance along
the grassland’s edge.

but i will never remember
your face unseen,
my morning specter,
my divergent shadow

Monster

with my music dead
i push myself against the darkness
all i can hear
between my grumbling stomach
and the screaming inside my head
is the howling wind
that pushes against
every rotation
my monster of morning
my monster of mourning.