No One Notices

she is five
she is my baby
we stand in hot sun
beneath a bittersweet ending

i help her hold up her hand
and when she isn’t included
no one notices
and i feel smaller than her

when he comes up and asks
if i’m some other girl’s mother
so he can invite her (not mine)
to a birthday party?

all i can do
all i can do
is be grateful for my new
dark sunglasses to hide my tears

and the worries that rest
deep in a mother’s heart?
this is the bittersweet beginning
of a lifetime more

Simplicity

five simple life rules:
work, play, eat, drink, enjoy all
don’t make it complex

My Day

twenty mile morn
miracle van renaissance
baby’s cap and gown

Cottonwood Colorado

trees don’t grow on beaches
and they shouldn’t be here
eighty years old
stacked up along the sand
a domineering presence
of the shade i crave

it is June now
and cotton floats in the air
in and out of our hair
our mouths, our pieces of food
a dreamy landscape
of seeds starting anew

i sit for hours
as lyrics drown out
the blue-collar Bud-drinking
daytime neighbors
i could sit all day
my cottonwood Colorado
a dreamy landscape
of all i will leave behind

soon we will breathe
the salty seascape
there will be no trees
only a faulty umbrella
unable to withstand wind
no cotton bleeding with life
no comparison to this life

and will my girls
sassy as ever in their new bikinis
remember what it was like
in the cottonwood Colorado
of their youth?
or immerse in a
languagefoodculture
that blends together
in a different dreamy landscape?

Reality

with bursts of blue light
clouds blow across our beach day
typical of life

For Our Spaniards

You were in our home for all of twelve hours. You were jet-lagged, disheveled, and still unpacked. Yet, instead of pulling clothing and toiletries out of your suitcases to place upon the shelves of your rooms, Silvia drew out a book entitled Fotos de España for us and jump ropes for each of the girls. Carlos retrieved a balloon air pump and engaged the girls in Spanish conversations: “¿un flor o una mariposa?” And what did you say to us? “When you come to Spain, you will see the children playing these games.” “When you come to Spain, you will see the beautiful palaces from these photos.” “When you come to Spain, you will fall in love with the people.”

Before you were here long, even the youngest, shyest daughter was requesting her balloon, was sitting on Silvia’s lap. I knew that magic had just entered our lives. I wanted to shout from the rooftops, announce to the world, the happiness that seeped from every blood vessel of my heart. It was like a dream, one that could not be defined, but that slips between your subconscious and conscious, shaking you awake with an ever-present smile.

And so our adventure began. Carlos with your infectious humor, describing every life situation with laughter and joy. “And the DMV lady said to me, ‘Are you black or white?’ I had never been asked such a thing, so I turned to her and replied, ‘I don’t know—you tell me.’” “We missed our flight and Thanksgiving Dos. Tomorrow we can have Thanksgiving Tres instead!” “Uh… and how many drinks did Bruce have before he said THOSE words to you?” “Yes, that one… weighs more than me. In first grade.”

And Silvia with your reserved, down-to-earth nature, popping in your bits of advice and no-nonsense approach to life. Silvia, the caretaker who Riona craves to cuddle with (and proudly announces to me on the side, “Mama, did you know that Silvia can read books in Spanish AND English?”). Silvia, whose detailed descriptions of the class from hell bring both empathy and amazement to all ears. Whose love for your family surpasses all, your childhood shenanigans so filled with happiness you feel you can hear all your aunties’ voices as they secretly stole children into rooms.

There is a reason we have come to call you our Spaniards. You are not like any people we have ever known. You are unique in a way that cannot be defined in any language. You are the inspiration and reason for us packing up our family of five and moving them to your home country. Your presence in our lives cannot be replaced, and you will be greatly missed.

You were in our home for all of twelve hours. Telling us we would fall in love with the people in Spain. Well, we had already fallen in love, before ever stepping on a plane, before seeing the palaces from your book, before tasting the Mediterranean air. We had fallen in love with the people who would fill our home with life for eleven months, who won us over before unpacking a single suitcase.