i give her the news
silent tears fall down her cheeks
worse than a tantrum

eleven years old
burden of being oldest
heavy on three girls

she carries their weight
lab rat for parental tests
what should we do next?

we drive the wrong way
arrive before she knows it
i favor her now

it is not too late
to undo this, to change schools
my peace offering

again, silent tears
on her face, trapped in my throat
i can deal with it

but should you have to?
the question that i don’t ask
(but i ask myself)

i’m going to stay
i don’t want to lose my friends
and there is my proof

hours of homework
detention for lost pencils
don’t compare to friends

i drop her off, drive
dawn’s light skids across the lake
as golden leaves fall

a sight so perfect
i want to drive back, tell her
take away her tears

mine are falling now
and i must let her decide
she leads, my oldest