Cartagena blues
teasing me with memories
soldier guarding life
here i am, snowbound
(silent beauty winter)
biting cold, warm home
i could take this pic
right there next to that palm tree
basque in Spain sun
but i am here now
family on every corner
tongue out for snowflakes
tasted continents
on either side of the sea
and i am home now
our boots squeak with snow
light as sparkling feathers
quiet city streets
middle one agrees
to traipse in winter beauty
so much like her mom
this brings me to peace
from sleepless, sorrowful nights
my words lost, then found
like our snowy prints
only seen from right behind
otherwise ignored
my most precious gift
recorded for all my life
despised by loved ones
perhaps she will walk
behind my wordy footsteps
her write to escape
for now, quiet snow
i accept what i can’t change
and keep on writing
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my far-off cousin
the brother i never had
how i love, miss him
her comments swallowed
like the Christmas morn semen
cranberry juice, please
i’m not defensive
just wish for white Christmases
like everyone else
i can win this game
Cards Against Humanity
with my best haiku
five girls are sleeping
in my parents’ bungalow
i love my city
my favorite movie
It’s a Wonderful Life, YES!!
live and Live and LIVE!!!!
for some it’s the tree
others love the Christmas lights
for me, it’s the roast
scent of cranberries
rosemary, thyme, and red wine
bring my holiday
we’re having roast beast!
the Grinch is absent today
in our happy home
as they grow older
it’s no longer life and death
over midnight cries
now? supply, demand
business modeled parenting
what if we run out?
what can i buy or give
to make them happy, love me?
which–time or gifts?
it’s never enough
they’re either spoiled or loved
often hard to tell
give them the world
so they’ll toss it back to me
demand better one
it’s human nature
to aspire for what’s not there
i’m never enough
love should be enough
i’m up nights loving too much
(they never see this)
as they grow older
i miss the crying days when
i knew they loved me
a hug was enough
to make it through a tough time
and they were all mine
no one will say this
they’ll say how much easier
they’re independent
independent, yes
from our once easy embrace
to face life’s demands
and to demand more
to make me question myself
will this be enough?
no simple response
to parenthood dilemmas
enough guilt tonight
lattice top apple
laid by a baking expert
five years of hard work
culinary school?
kitchens of Denver and Spain
dough soft as her cheek
yes, she was just three
her first try in our kitchen
all to be near me
i can’t buy her dreams
or make Santa come to life
but i’ll give her that
back to my haikus
because imbalance steals breath
from rainy winters
i looked back because of the hits
and there were no haikus
no strict syllable limitations
to the words he watches me hold back
just the brutality of me
full force. in my middle girl’s words
spoken so harshly in the witching hour
that’s how it was then.
poetry without borders, PWB
just doesn’t work the same as DWB
though the after-effect?
like bourbon to the virgin
you would know if you’d been there.
you’d know how painfully dangerous
that hot liquid could burn your soul.
and he would stop. the car.
that’s how bad.
because you reading this?
and all the rest of the non-stalking world?
if you had him at home?
you wouldn’t carry that demon.
it would be buried. six feet under.
and you’d walk the city streets
and set free your child and live
live
live
like every moment was your last.
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