ten years ago, as a young teacher,
 i would have killed to have such a flawless lesson.
 today?
 one component makes me feel like a failure.
 ask.
 ask why teachers leave this profession in droves.
 why we spend hours collecting fake data points to try to prove ourselves.
 why every damn day they must be
 interacting as if their intelligence
 could not be shown in another way.
 
 ask.
 ask.
 screw the introverts,
 the six weeks prior of building up talk,
 of transition handouts and forced verbal responses and
 Socratic seminars.
 this day, this day when i have them
 writing more sentences in one period
 than they’ve written in their entire
 school careers,
 i am judged as
 not even approaching,
 not even close to being good enough?
 
 Ask.
 i’ll tell you why.
 because with all the hoops and all the hopes and all the reasons i came into this career,
 some days,
 rainy days like today,
 dreary and plagued with doubt,
 it sure as hell feels more like
 an unsatisfactory career
 than i feel like an unsatisfactory teacher.