in the midst of darkness
after weeks of moment-by-moment loss
today we have a win
a Green Card on the horizon
of this young man’s dreams

in the midst of darkness
after weeks of moment-by-moment loss
today we have a win
a Green Card on the horizon
of this young man’s dreams
i want the cute cat
and not the cracked-up pavement
through the broken woods
my defeated dog
is my exact expression
only calmer (him)
for days i didn't write
how i tire of haikus
how they plague me with seventeen
when i want more syllables to squeeze into a day
a life
all those moments, days, weeks, moths, years lost
how it feels like loss
her hating, ignoring, hiding, wishing to be somewhere else
anywhere but here
and now she is
and the full house is emptier than ever
with these smiles that mask the truth
the bitter truth
and her grin gone
her childhood over
and how can i feel
anything less than the worst mother
to come home to more tears, more accusations, more truth than i can bear?
and i'll soon lose my second
(i've already lost her to
her friends, her habits, her goth music, her hatred of me)
and then she'll be gone too
and when i try to look back across monument valley,
there will only be smoke.
it's almost over
(we say goodbye tomorrow)
for now, there's a view
my classroom awaits
a roster of empty seats
(only time will tell)
my baby's driving
(i can't believe she's fifteen)
and finding her way
broken copier,
mushroom chicharrĂłn tacos,
and this sad puppy
it's only Wednesday
of my first week back at school
and exhaustion wins
the youngest’s birthday
(an early celebration)
before big sis leaves
Toy Story 3. Now.
i could carry the bag out
and cry all morning
a toy, a trigger?
my girl is off to college.
(this is no cartoon).
and so he will stay.
though i know she will leave me.
each grinning their truth.