Unsatisfactory

You deserve a poem
for your partial proficiency.

You deserve all the words
that you take from our mouths,
that you tell us to tear down
from our walls,
that you banish from our rooms
in the form of literature
(the very thing you dare assess)

for the lock-and-key,
starve-and-dehydrate,
Nazification of a test
you put on a pedestal,
a test they all detest,
for which they could care less.

You deserve a poem
for your unsatisfactory mark
upon the teachers you denigrate,
the teachers you should emulate.

Perhaps I will learn Morse Code,
buy the appropriate paraphernalia,
and send my message over the airwaves.
Would you listen to me then?

Candidate

you were born for this.
where are the voters?
i’m waiting for your
slanderous commercial
against candidates
who can’t compete.

it will surely follow
your quick quips
and intelligent,
well-read responses.

your video clips
and “inspiring messages”
are lost upon us, however.

please keep in mind
that your three-minute experience
with Mandarin Chinese
does not compensate
your obvious inadequacies.

we see your vision.
it’s as bright as the sun
on the first day of summer,
reminding us why we shed
these hard-earned skins
and spend those glorious months
with our children.

that time is something you,
10-month-old and all,
couldn’t possibly fit
into your perfect PowerPoint.

don’t worry, Dr.
we’ll watch the video
of today’s presentation
on YouTube.

after a few beers,
your words will be like the Mandarin:
foreign, bubbles burgeoning
out of the sea,
waiting for the moment
when the commercial will end,
when the reality of your ignorance
will shine in the summer sun.

How to Live on One Salary (Remix)

1. Forget about owning a new car. If you can’t forget it, stop reading now. You can eliminate up to $800 a month in payments if you don’t have a car payment and its ensuing expensive insurance.
2. Buy the minimum coverage for car insurance. Take a risk. It’s worth it.
3. Pay off all your debts (other than mortgage) before you consider it.
4. Save for retirement in a 401K, 403b, or whatever you can. It may be the only money you save for a while. But it’s something.
5. Take advantage of refinancing when the interest rates are at their lowest.
6. Eat at home 90% of the time.
7. Bike or carpool to work.
8. Use your tax returns wisely: pay off debts, save a little, use the rest for a small vacation.
9. Speaking of vacations: drive. It’s better for the environment, less scheduled, and more up to you. Have kids? Drive at night. They’ll sleep, you’ll be happy.
10. Buy used. Buy used. Buy used. I just bought three sweaters, a hat, and two nice pairs of pants for work at the Goodwill for $22. Brand-name products that look brand new. Craigslist is a great place to find virtually anything you need, from kids’ toys to bikes.
11. Create a monthly budget. Stick to it as much as possible.
12. Expect the unexpected. Cars (especially the old one you’re driving) will break down. It’s better to put it on a credit card you can pay off in a few months than to pay a car payment.
13. Do a babysitting exchange with another family. Enjoy an occasional night out without the extra cost.
14. Look for sale items at the grocery store and stock up.
15. Cancel your cable. You can watch a variety of things on the Internet, and Netflix is much more affordable. There’s nothing on TV anyway.
16. Get books and audiobooks from the library. Music too.
17. For gift giving, take advantage of after-Christmas sales and stock up on kids’ toys and Christmas wrapping paper. Flip the wrapping paper inside out to wrap gifts for every occasion.
18. Give up hair dyeing, manicures, pedicures, and salons. You’re beautiful the way you are.
19. Weather-proof your house as much as possible to save money on energy costs. Use cold water for washing clothes.
20. Decide what you really need to buy versus what you want to buy. Make sound choices, and you’ll have extra money (occasionally) to blow on fun items.

Enough

i glide in and out of rooms all day
up and down, around they sway
as many lessons as elementary
undefinable in secondary

my students laugh when they see the same
lesson with a new text, new name
same teacher, different class
how my day zips by so fast

two, three, even four times
the same faces make these rhymes
teachers vary, steps add up
soon I am without enough

i can’t keep the pace that I have set
a new brain is what i need to get
never enough time, patience, love
for all that they need to think of.

Within (without)

i knew what i had
held within my hands
(held right before my eyes)
in perfect amazement
how perfectly you
mesmerized them (me)

now i stand to the side
awkward and disappointed
holding back tears
as i ache for what we had together
(what your light shined
upon me, upon them)

she will never know this.
only you and i could
possibly understand
the perfect harmony
held within our hands
that they (we) will
have to live without.

Ode to Pod

for years I’ve dreamed of this day
so why am I not smiling? my own
classroom, my own walls, my desk
in the corner with no one to bother me,
no one to pester me with the constant
openings and closings of doors,
students incessantly filing in and out,
no little pod desk accessible only
by interrupting someone else’s teaching.

but if I hadn’t been here I wouldn’t
have heard Hanna wondering about
lessons that I then reached out to share
(making our co-teaching the best
teaching I’ve done so far);
been close enough to Karen to see
the endless hours she puts into teaching those kids;
heard Bill complain about the toilet
overflowing and everyone in homeroom
giving him crap about it (punny, I know!);
I wouldn’t have caught clips of those
conversations Bill and Scott had with
their students (the ones in trouble,
the bullies, the ones with family issues)
and witness, firsthand, how to mix humor
with discipline in a way that is nothing
shy of teaching’s greatest masterpiece;
I wouldn’t have visited Tammy’s lab
to see the limitless ways that students
could be brought to think for themselves.

if it weren’t for my little windowless pod,
my small desk that Bill cleared his crap for
(with nothing overflowing), I wouldn’t
have the friends who make me feel
less departmentalized (in my solo
department), I wouldn’t have even
had a brownie list, I wouldn’t have seen
the best teachers in the school, but would
be in the dark, just like I thought I would be
when (during the overcrowded days)
they put me in this dark space
that, in fact, has brought nothing less
than a world of light into my life.

Keep the Best and Eliminate the Rest

They’ve all but hired a new superintendent for our school district. Googling her led me to her job-jumping status quo. First in Des Moines, then Tucson, but only in Tucson for two years. This is just like the last superintendent we had, who jumped from job to job, and he ran this district… well, into the ground, really. But that’s just my opinion. I must say I have never seen such an exorbitant amount of money spent on such ridiculous things. He spent it all on conferences, luncheons, unneeded administration, and mileage, then fled.

I found out about the new superintendent earlier today, right on the tails of me reading an article from the cover of Newsweek about education reform. They did a beautifully creative cover. In the background, written in chalk a hundred times, were the words, “Fire bad teachers.” Ouch. The article went on to explain that because of the unions, teachers have almost zero chance of termination after they acquire tenure. In fact, less than .02 percent!

I must say, having team taught for five years, I would have to somewhat agree with this article. It’s hard for me to accept that agreement, because I am a liberal, and of course I’m part of the teachers’ union. But at the same time, I’ve seen a couple—and I really mean just a couple—of teachers who really shouldn’t be teaching. If they don’t care about the kids’ education, how are the kids ever going to care? As a teacher of at-risk ELLs, this bothers me tremendously. I need my students to succeed more than I need for their white, middle-class counterparts to, because ELLs have a much higher likelihood of dropping out. So when teachers are ineffective, have poor management, and simply don’t invest care into what they do, it has a huge impact on students whose families might already be wary of the educational system (and teachers) as it is.

With our school district not only having to hire a new superintendent (who might not stick around!) to replace the one who fled, but also facing year four of drastic budget cuts, teachers and support staff are losing their jobs in every school. And who is leaving? Well, the new teachers, the probationary teachers, of course. Not a chance that anyone else would be considered to be put on the chopping block, though I know for a fact that I am not the only one who feels that there would be some different, weaker teachers in our school who should go instead of strong, new teachers whose only weakness are their hire dates.

So I will admit that the system has flaws. What began more than a hundred years ago as an attempt to improve salaries and benefits for teachers has now, in effect, backfired and hurt our children. Just as the Newsweek article pointed out, now that women have more choices about careers, most won’t choose teaching, and most public school districts pick teachers from lower-performing colleges. And so many teachers enter the career having minimal training in classroom management, which is the most important factor for student success.

But what are we supposed to do? Reform an entire system in an attempt to find and keep good teachers and fire bad ones? It is possible, but again I become discouraged by Newsweek’s, and other more conservative media’s, simple answer to this question: base teachers’ pay and rehiring on students’ test scores. This cannot be the determining factor, and here is where my liberal blood boils. Being an ELL teacher, I see how weak students’ scores are on standardized tests for the first several years that they are acquiring English. No teacher, no matter how effective, is going to be able to break down the linguistic barrier that hampers their success without years of language immersion and sheltered instruction. And with the percentage of ELLs increasing every year (this group, in fact, is the fastest growing population of students in U.S. schools), in every state, we need to use more data than test scores to evaluate teachers.

The truth is, there is no easy answer to the question of education reform. But it needs to happen. We need administrators, the U.S. Department of Education, and superintendents to stick with their school districts and to work with teachers (the ones in the trenches) to come up with solutions for reforming teacher evaluation techniques. If you ask effective teachers how they feel about ineffective ones, they are the first and most opinionated about calling out their weaknesses and admitting their need for removal, because those teachers’ ineffectiveness destroys what effective teachers are trying to do: educate our students to the highest level of expectation. And if we are all on board about what’s best for students (good teachers!) then we should all be able to work together to keep the best and eliminate the rest.

Can’t I Be a Little Bitter?

Bitter, me? You’re forgetting that I went through this last year. YOU didn’t. Can’t I be a little bitter? Can’t I complain just a bit, please? Do YOU have your entire family dependent on YOUR salary? Can you afford to lose $300 in a month, times three? Because I can barely pay my bills with what money I make. And even if I do have my job again next year, I will have to go through all of this again. But if I get moved to another school, which I probably will, I will have to spend extra money on gas and car maintenance. It may not seem like a lot, but it is when the entire spending money my family has in a month is less than $100. What am I supposed to do when my daughters need new shoes or have to go to the dentist? How is our family supposed to sacrifice any more than what we have already sacrificed? Do YOU know what that’s like to go from two salaries to one, to live on $37,800, only slowly rising to $50,000, which has barely made it tolerable to support us all? Have YOU ever had to decide between paying exorbitant medical bills or going into debt over health insurance costs?

Can’t I be a little bitter? Can’t I come to the place I work and share camaraderie with people who are all frustrated, downtrodden, stressed, and where the morale is lower than it’s been in years, and say what I think? Say how I am feeling without you smiling to my face and going behind my back and complaining to my boss and making me cry for three days and feel that my entire character has been destroyed in front of the person who is responsible for me having a job???

Can’t I be a little bitter? At least you know who I am, know what I think, and never question the validity of what I say and the truth of my soul. I don’t hide who I am from anyone, and if you can’t handle it, tell me, leave the conversation, relate it to a friend who can approach me, fuck, send me an anonymous note. But don’t backstab me when our employers, the recession, the taxpayers, the state are already twisting a knife into each of our backs.

Oh, did you think I was bitter before? You ain’t seen nothin’ yet.

Furlough This!

You can’t put a price on what we do for kids
the price we pay with your most recent bids
even if you take another thing away
freeze salaries and three days without pay
you’ll never take away what we provide
to students who are never once denied
whatever you can spatter us with next
that leaves you looking lost and so perplexed
because the actual answer doesn’t lie
in a dollar amount yanked from the sky
each student’s, parent’s, or admin’s demands
lies here, within each teacher’s humble hands.

We are not drawn forth into this career
sans knowing sacrifice is always near.