for liberty’s sake
chemicals dropped from the sky
burn the communists
our government saves
the young boys it sent to war
now dying old men
but in Viet Nam?
cancer, deformities, death
are all we offer
Monday’s lesson stings
the words of a war veteran
burn like Agent Orange
silent tears again
this time my middle child
(won’t accept status)
to watch them slide down
i want to take my words back
then she wouldn’t cry
she is not like them
that’s why she reads it alone
and cries without words
later, smile on,
look, Mama, i hung my card
her tears forgotten
and so they will hang
the weight of one decade now
how hard the truth stings
how hard to admit
to my ten-year-old child
how surprised i was
i know why she cries
with that outward sister grin
an old soul, she knows
she’ll treasure those words
more than her Monster High doll
or anything else
birthday reminder
of surprising miracles
that shape who we are
when winter arrives
snow makes an easy excuse
to beg for failure
three continents back
you’d have given everything
for this cold bus ride
forget the slick roads
breath visible before you
remember learning
two free holidays
first one ushers in a storm
mountains disappear
skyline from here
is always magnificent
minus the whining
how influential
a video-head friend is
shuffled in with clouds
moms must compromise
perk warmth into snowy scene
where surprise awaits
no seats near the girls
overheard conversation
prettier than snow
a Vietnam vet
three decades of war photos
now he snaps for peace
how much do you charge
to bring your eye-witness view
to my refugees?
you see, there’s this book…
as all great requests begin
Inside Out and Back…
Again, he returns
to where he lost his manhood
and became a man
I don’t charge a thing:
without our youth, our schooling
the world won’t change
we make lesson plans
till the girls will wait no more
Happy Veterans’ Day
first free holiday
though nothing is ever free
let snow send us peace
i give her the news
silent tears fall down her cheeks
worse than a tantrum
eleven years old
burden of being oldest
heavy on three girls
she carries their weight
lab rat for parental tests
what should we do next?
we drive the wrong way
arrive before she knows it
i favor her now
it is not too late
to undo this, to change schools
my peace offering
again, silent tears
on her face, trapped in my throat
i can deal with it
but should you have to?
the question that i don’t ask
(but i ask myself)
i’m going to stay
i don’t want to lose my friends
and there is my proof
hours of homework
detention for lost pencils
don’t compare to friends
i drop her off, drive
dawn’s light skids across the lake
as golden leaves fall
a sight so perfect
i want to drive back, tell her
take away her tears
mine are falling now
and i must let her decide
she leads, my oldest
how honesty lives:
kindle a fire within
or fly with the wind
how honesty dies:
with smiles and puppy tails
with nothing that fails
for me, honestly?
i’d rather fly with the wind
than burn from within
if money could buy
the time i lost regretting,
would i be happy?
my biggest paycheck
untouched in the nursery
unswaddled bonus
its late-night crying
ignites a hole in my soul
but babes are fragile
even when nursing
they can fuss and search for more
easily cracking
my scarred nipple skin
tearing my hope inside out
leaving me empty
safe in its blanket
i will keep my money wrapped
while i nurse my dreams
forgot her pencil
add to the list of hours
now lost from our lives
impossible choice
parent failure never ends
and doubt always wins
what’s a pencil worth?
droopy eyes, stressed homework spells
my child no more
i wanted the best
since data governs our lives
and steals our children
hour detention
for forgetting her pencil
whose data buys time?
a simple request
straddles me between two worlds
a scale i once tipped
if grins and roses
were all that i’m meant to be
i’d bury my soul
balance beam choices
split, backwards flip, wheelbarrow,
toe-dip for the win?
or flatten my hands
my feet flying above me
upside down: myself.
this park is our church
(we rode past three on the way)
god is in details
dress-obsessed oldest
on a limb over a lake
this windy fall day
blessed to have new friends
and her two shadow sisters
nothing like my youth
(how i would have loved
my sister to include me–
just to be my friend)
outdoor play keeps them
a ring of companionship
beauty comes in threes
we don’t need sabbath
just the joy of our family
god lives in us all
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