Bytes of My Day

two chances to prove
that i deserve to be here
fall, winter, fierce fear

two chances plagued twice
year before? a standard test
today? dead Internet

set up my failure
as Google Classroom crashes
tearing me to bytes

i wish she loved them
as fully as i love them
instead? i strike out

after school, i walk
to get six-day car hostage
and then i see them:

top down, sun shining
classic MG sports car grins
this October day

yes, my mechanics
can charge whatever they want
cruise streets in fixed cars

we’ll be right over
hood open, my car broken
and i’m the failure?

daughter calls: tire flat.
sun, why dost thou forsake me
shining so damn bright?

my car stays hostage
we’ll walk into tomorrow
blindsided by fall

(i’ll dream of driving
of summers off, beach tours
of all that bytes me)

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Let Grief Live

a rainy Sunday
filled with empty prayers to god
that i can’t quite hear

imagine this life
wasted living for heaven
all to hide our grief

let grief live on earth
with our hands upon our hearts
bleeding to let go

the clouds broke evening
god did not exempt the rain
it flooded our souls

Cat Got Your…?

lunch hesitation
one year from Africa, lost
in linguistic haze

night in confession
one year from Spain, llevame
atrás
, where heart rests

lost in translation
his understanding, my words
we compromise fear

it rests behind tongues
from mother countries, our own
till we can spit truth

let us excavate
set our syllables free, give
wings to our words

Give, and You Shall Receive

list of excuses
ribboned present presented
mail-ready, pre-sent

in the hands of god
swirling death surrounding me
don’t want to hear it

how do i work through
stress, grief, everyday mountains,
but you’re not able?

i see days through tears
gather up my girls in hugs
can’t you find your joy?

peace comes with jobs done
satisfaction of success
unwrap your conscience

The Longest Mile

just one mile walk home
to car-shop drop-off frenzy
begin evening stress

science fair project
won’t keep quiet on my mind
leaves alleviate

no avocados?
two wheels, backpacked ride to store
guacamole dreams

oldest cycles home
begins three-shower cycle
all by six-forty

spicy tacos rest
on spicy dream-home dispute
taste still in my mouth

all ’cause he worked late
foreshadowing our future:
crap hours, low pay

sacrifice my peace
for shut-in civility?
i’d rather be poor

rich are days with him
those hours in his absence?
a chronic longing

even the girls cry
as they will with no ‘good nights’
tears don’t buy us time

the two-income trap
snagging our life with more debt
all for image, greed

just one mile walk back
where refugee students wait,
offer perspective

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Breathing Lessons

bag on, keys in hand
lights still off, door prop broken
they wait for me here

never a moment
to take a breath or a rest
once here? i breathe them

spinning hat cycle
switch styles: students, admin
teach, plan, grade, succumb

bag down, keys waiting
lights come on, i work past dark
they wait for me there

somewhere in between
i put on the mama hat
dinner, bed cuddling

i dream of yoga
breathing in, out, stretching soul
hats off, i breathe them

The Count

two-month countdown starts
pre-holiday pay knifing
how will we survive?

just as we once did:
a chef, errand-free weekends
(stay-at-home dad’s gifts)

two sides make all coins:
heavy sacrifice, workload
frantic rat race gone

we could count pennies
or we could count our blessings
we will see what counts

Tragic Advice

in the grand scheme, grin
because the pain of this day
buys future joy

Citations

poorly-worded goal
provided by school district
let’s confuse students

find main idea,
three facts, underlying themes
cite text evidence

even in haiku
i clarify what they can’t
why are they in charge?

come home to harsh truths:
charter school rules, union blues
paradox, my life

my new objective:
theme that saves main idea
minus the details

(life is a challenge
of unplugged net books, low pay;
cite love to survive)

Choir Practice

with stressed frustration
my mother’s voice comes through mine
i’m a child again

only now? my girl
is the brunt of my anger
yet she bounces back

resilience through love
something i was missing then
my mom aches to fix

life’s a big regret
played out in haunted voices
singing us to sleep