A Gift, a Heartbreak

a gift, to turn eight
the loving card, matching clothes
doll’s, girl’s paradise

with double pancakes
and grandmother surprises
she lights up the world

adventure downtown
homemade pizza by Daddy
she spoils us all

heartbreak, to turn eight
that many years past my last
my baby, always

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Laundry of Life

the morning breakdown:
poles, bags, pans, miracle trunk
pack our memories

quick stop for short hike
pass waterfall, aim higher
switchback to our view

it is a fine sight:
family of five, swollen legs
lake steals horizon

five showers, three loads
phone calls, dishes, and errands
aprés camp bed? YES!!

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Neither Fight nor Screen

an imagined home
from stuffies, rocks, wildflowers
neither fight nor screen

Colorado lake
full of fish, too cold to swim
sunbather’s beauty

marshmallow dessert
to toast twilight adventures
camping tastes so sweet

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Life’s a Rented Dream

silver blades cut grass
mad dash for registration
test Ukrainian

new face with bright smile
knows his English isn’t great
how will he survive?

miracle trunk packed
in temporary dream car
life’s a rented dream

reservation lost
we take his lucky number
campsite without view

girls venture for joy
find una buena vista
wood-filled arms return

though we lack lake view
the mountaintop appeases 
so rocky, this life

that makes our Friday
mow, pack, register, test, camp
obligations, loves

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Challenge

over basketball
we come clean with our spent day
he out shoots me; wins

meandering drives:
his through streets, mine through planning;
family meets career

girls sing their way home
in Spain, street dinners would start
here? hollow, dark paths

i’m trapped here for now
because i love kids too much
equal, theirs and mine

over drinks divulged
the story of single life
that he saved me from

penniless in months
i’ll press my lips against his
and let love beat all

better than harsh words
or baseball abandonment
why i married him

we will survive this
as hard as the year in Spain
that i so long for

Prepubescent Exploration

innocent zoo trip
obscene scene not to be seen
look, he has two trunks!

saved by water show
he forgets his bold catwalk
trainer blames teen angst

stories of summer
popcorn, snow cones, puberty?
the birds and the bees

better lesson now:
friends by day’s end, sharing slurps
two trunks forgotten

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Joy Among Us

a flat starts the day
with a little pump, i ride
hills, mountains: progress

web site down, ends work
why not take the dry cleaning?
dead car battery

bored girls seek street friends
they’re at camp, then tutoring
where is their summer?

then, a text invite:
pool party, later denied
(for members only)

embarrassed, we leave
without the key to rich friends
our small house fills up

this after cold talk
screaming drive, snatching pillow
the girls unaware

of how i haiku
remnants of a hollow day
door shut, him sleeping

but before closed doors?
they street-danced on rollerblades
still making the best

i close itchy eyes
view the world through young faces
all i see is joy

The End

sunny day at end
after a stormy summer
last pool before school

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Covered

because i have lost it
the reader within me
the writer within me
kept silent by society
as i walk carrying
dripping wet shitty diaper
across creaky floors
and dog barks waking baby
and 7-year-old tears up
because i threw away the tooth chip
that she spit out of her mouth
after she fell off broken branch
and my oldest begs to watch
while the dishes fill the sink
and the cousin dazes under allergy meds
and the person i used to be?

she is the road through the forest
captured on a Tennessee run
while we run from Tennessee
while i run from Tennessee
tree-covered tunnel
going nowhere

because i have lost it somewhere
along that empty road
covered, covered, covered in leaves
how they block the woman i could be
the mother i could be
the view into a new tomorrow
that’s just around the corner
that i can’t quite see

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Sierra Nevada

Spain’s snowiest peak
its cold has blown away hope
siesta beats all