clouds, mountains, lake, sun
a beach day like no other
WE’RE GOING TO SPAIN!!!!

clouds, mountains, lake, sun
a beach day like no other
WE’RE GOING TO SPAIN!!!!

at fifty pounds each
girls spin them around the room
spin my dream come true

doubt in every thought
pain deeper, greater than loss
all i want is peace
if you were me,
tears and doubt would be so common
you’d learn to silently cry,
to wipe away moisture
while putting puzzle pieces together
with your five-year-old,
to catch that knot in your throat
before it bubbles into a balloon
of anguished sobs
if you were me,
you would be more than
an overly-confident status update
who brags about cycling down the interstate
for a late-night gas emergency,
who flippantly adds an impossible dream
to the brutal reality of all
that you must carry
on your already heavily-laden shoulders
if you were me,
you would see the reality
behind your words,
you would know how utterly small
you stand beneath decisions
that press against your soul
and tear you apart from the inside out
if you were me,
you might want to be
(just for one moment)
the safe-secure-satisfied working mom
who would never do this to her family
but then…
you wouldn’t be me.
i wouldn’t be me.
and what kind of truth
would we both face
if we met, you and i,
and we were not ourselves?
respite on the sea
if only boats could decide
which way our bow points

we cross the state line
Connecticut, once her home
instant rain breaks me
coin in gold fountain
M’s futile Central Park wish:
let us go to Spain
Friday the 13th
rain to wash away the drought
can it wash my tears?
a drought has plagued
Kentucky’s usually green grasses
(driest year in recorded history)
so far we’ve racked 4000 miles
on a car that doesn’t belong to us
escaping our own drought
wildfire smoke trailing behind us
along interstate 70
the puffy white wisps
of burning forests
whose beetle-bitten trees
can have peace in heaven
are no comparison
to the sunless sky
on a drought-starved day
when showers won’t stop
and renewal bounces
across horse fields
and wet pavement
as if this is a new tomorrow
can i swallow this rain
can i bury my face
in a bed of furious clouds
and turn my inner drought
inside out so that i can feel
my roots take hold of new life?
i can’t see beyond the greasy
rainsoaked windshield
to find the answer
i left somewhere
along interstate 70
he says it is a woman
but i know it is New York
if he had its blood burned
into his childhood
he would understand
just as my girls
who argue with him
about the name of the song
and count exit signs
along the interstate
we will be there soon
we will be there soon
we will walk across that bridge
and enter a new dimension
of the city we all know
as we close our eyes
and dream a new version of life
just like my great-grandfather
(the one i never knew)
who pulled my frail and tiny
great-grandmother across the sea
and saw the glorious light
of the Empire State
he will see
they will see
(when we walk across that bridge)
just how beautiful
a new life can be