January thaw
before the snowstorm sets in
brings preteen joy back
she rides her scooter,
climbs a few trees, swings youth back
(perfect afternoon)
family
To-Do List
an organized life
that she inherits from me
mother to daughter
Freeze Talk
i want this captured
to remember this evening
(dark, icy outside)
not the budget talk,
the back talk, the endless talk
sucking life from days
this. this song, this spin,
this moment of childhood.
ice the sweet playground
no darkness. no cold.
warmth found in sisters’ giggles
that silence all talk.
Stolen
thievery on kids
with granted Christmas wishes:
a new kind of low
scooter happiness
snatched from public library
while books stole our hearts
between this and puke
and sis stuck in Kentucky
(in snow of all things)
this week weighs heavy
for this mom, sister, teacher
(no end to winter)
but the sun was high
and we’re rich with two jobs now
(solved our scooter blues)
and we have love here
stolen from youth to old age
given to these girls
She Comes… I Stay
burst from these dark days
of post-holiday winter
news to change a life
(or ten thousand lives)
cause that’s how many she’ll touch
in her tenure here
this comes full circle
(the young-mother sacrifice,
the risky Spain year)
to work with passion
to be led with compassion
to love, love my school
it’s all i’ve wanted
thirteen years waiting for strength
to be my leader
How Now?
how loud his voice is
when i hear it soberly
no numbness to mask
how aching my head
just shy of three weeks without
sugar going… gone
how did i get here?
the truth is too hard to bear
seen with my new eyes
how will i go on?
pounding head, clean liver, hope
for a better life
MLK Thaw
walk for forgiveness
for the fight for lost causes
(that we still fight for)
by some miracle
this day is always balmy
as we make our way
scooters–a new trick
to have me chase after them
instead of dragged feet
the mix of colors
between sky, humanity
carries this bright wave
we walk for peace, love
so we’ll always remember
what not to forget
we walk ’cause we can
because peace comes in small steps
found in winter warmth
Black and White and Blue
winter-lit moments
after seventeen hours
are worth the world
clean house, soft kitty
best: sun in January
will soothe me to sleep
Los Ganadores
fourteen class hours
in three days. cold winter walk
to house of illness.
no breaks this weekend
as oldest tells project woes
(procrastination)
middle craves pancakes
but class again tomorrow
allows no bake time
(he’ll be up all night
holding a pail for baby
to give me this chance)
as it’s always been–
i work, work, work… he supports
(and we’re all winners)
Always a Top Ten
reasons why i stopped:
one–brutal voice in writing,
uncensored anger
two–not much laughter,
too much crying to count
(my tear stained regrets)
three–exhausted sleep
from too many restless nights
swimming in nightmares
four–so much good lost
on the desire to numb,
to not fully live
five–waste of money
in times when we had little,
in times when we’re rich
six–lust and lack of
mediocre love-making
blurred by consumption
seven–fat belly
of someone too far along
to give up this quick
eight–every bad choice
i have made as an adult
came from that bottle
nine–joy i once felt
disappeared on icy rocks
of my lost chances
ten–my daughters’ eyes
watching every move i make
(and i’m making… them)
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