one cutting remark
makes me long for real friends
why did they all leave?
friendship
Fluff
yes, it’s in the blog.
everything you can’t recall.
that i’ve recorded.
that is what it’s for.
hard drive with screen. ready. use.
measure me my life.
they’ll come. and they’ll go.
but you and i? together
peanut butter, fluff.
my breakfast today:
on soft wheat bread that you bought
with our love dollar
Here’s a Thought
forgetting our friends
is like helping enemies
win every battle
What Makes a Marriage
The campground we paid $57 to reserve was covered in snow. Bruce texted me at 2:52 and said we had to cancel. I thought of six devastated girls and my Jordan National Forest upbringing. “Just drive down 285. Surely there’s something.” He reluctantly agreed to meet me in Buena Vista. At 8pm, we pulled into our non-campground, no-bathroom site and fixed Spanish dinner by 19:30. 😉 The next morning it rained/hailed for 3.5 hours, ending with a frightening lightning storm when I said, “Kids, get in the car! NOW!!” And I blessed the lord to let him drive…. Up the road and into a mud pit. He screamed, cried out, “Our brand new car!! Why did I do that?! Why did we come on this trip?!!” And I opened my door, stepped in 7 inches of mud, and walked 100 yards to a camp full of 4-wheel-drive fanatics who came with their tow line and Jeep Rubicon and pulled all 8 of us, Pilot and all, right out of that pit of hell. And he drove reverse for a quarter mile (something I could never do) and the hail melted and the rain stopped and that’s. What makes a marriage.
That Reminder of Parenthood
i didn’t get a photo
of that bright face looking out from the crowd
of the circle of middle school spur-of-the-moment dancers
jamming to a Middle Eastern tune
with their white black brown faces
and her Latin American dress spinning out from under
a tunnel of happiness
there is no way
no possible way
my phone could have captured
the enraptured joy of that moment
of the confidence instilled back into my
fifth-grade-turned-sour timid child
who has found her place
in the oft-militaristic
ever-loving ever-respectful
intensity of love
that is this school
and when i see those
bright twelve-year-old eyes
shining back at me
because she knows i know
(to pain and back, we’ve been)
it is that moment of parenthood
that reminder of why we are parents
why we bring them into this world
and spend our Saturday nights inside a school
eating foods from around the world
listening to the intricate threads that sew together our humanity
why we love
why we live
why we still hope
for a better tomorrow
Heavenly
on your first Mother’s Day,
you will sit under the sun.
rain clouds won’t creep in
to cover the sky with gray.
puffy white balls of cotton
will sprinkle the blue
with heavenly sparkles tinged
with the gold from your heart.
on your first Mother’s Day,
you will hold your womb close
and your memories closer
(let them fly, those clouds)
you will drink iced tea
on a deck that shines
like a knight in armor,
ready to face the fight.
on your first Mother’s Day,
you will tip your glass
to all that could have been
and all that will be… soon
you will face the heavenly blue,
your eyes clear with sun
dipped in heavenly gold.
you will remember… and forgive
on your first Mother’s Day,
you will have the hope that holds,
the heavenly hope that makes us see
how blue-sky-sunny our dreams can be.
Counting
Mirror, Mirror
April Showers
Silver Streaks of Rain
with my old playlist
i fight an uphill battle
pedal into wind
your words lost on me
abandonment tastes bitter
as you once told me
silver streaks of rain
cross winds with old memories
i. never. give. up.
ten minutes to spare,
i make my destination.
(you are nowhere near)
my life without you:
la lengua extranjera
que no puedes ver



