unadvertised grunt
standing, waiting, buses, crowds
in national parks
yes, the view is grand
if streams of tourists wait
rather than push, shove
green river bottom
whiny pine cone crunching walk
patience slowly comes
what will they recall
twenty years, many paths hence?
the waiting canyon?
or jubilant chants
away from home, friends, phones, games
(they make their own games)
it’s all a game, right
to see nature carve her art
humans: dumbfounded
torn between worlds
oldest loves her phone, sisters
gives in, goes to bed
she watches their play
with a slightly jealous eye
fantasy now lost
found only in books
or over a campfire
she joins them in tent
she still loves camping
sets the table like Mama
an organized queen
she gives in to catch,
to wood-walking fantasy
(Riona’s a horse)
(but she’s almost me
we share the same shoe size now
her eyes switch places)
if i could capture
her in my womb (my last trip
to the Grand Canyon)
she’d be my baby
in my belly, on my back
trails, trials of love
the moon’s almost there
as are we, building marriage
us: more than half full
on this rainy morn
a single note from that song
brings back teen heartbreak
a rough night of dreams
floods of memories, remorse
this reminder stings
why today, this week?
why torment me with lyrics?
i just need a break
to know i’ve moved on
is all i want rain to bring
not floods of regret
high school musical
composed by genius student
Friday night (spot) lights
with tear jerking news
the week is only half done
endings everywhere
i’d pray for results
or let blind faith lead the way
to next day’s surprise?
everything behind
these heart-wrenching decisions
twists inside my soul
letting go: an art
i haven’t mastered just yet
please show me the way
weekend redemption
the ice cream cones they wanted
the park joy for me
they’re so up and down
i could forget sunny skies
but then, why should i?
clouds will always move
but the sun burns heaven-bright
on their childhood
this parenting age
with their school-age arguments
is harder for me
i’d take diapers, cries
over back talk, bickering
that leaves me crying
parenthood lesson:
it never gets easier
heartbreaking my days
four hours of tests
in this windowless hell fest
Spanish comes to mind
lunch union meeting
complaints about white privilege
first world problems
(i want to tell them
comparison is joy’s thief
but they won’t listen)
afternoon calls home
to parents of failing kids
Spanish practice dos
then video view
lesson to evaluate
slim chance at progress
audio walk home
on a windswept cloudy March
words too fast to grasp
(Alice wonders why–
in Carroll’s Spanish version
–so many choices)
then daughters’ chess meet
and oldest’s plea for pi day
(dough pulled from freezer)
kitchen now stolen
by eggs, bowls and pastry cream
we drive to Wahoo’s
kids eat free tonight
run wild while hipsters drink
(we rush home to bake)
tripod ends my night
(yoga the only answer
to this chaos)
and now i’m writing
resolution of ideas
not broken by tests
morning to myself
planning till the end of school
party on, teachers!
PARCC is not so bad
but we are American
we’re born to argue
with kids opting out
to send snap chats of parties
who will get punished?
party on, teachers!
(i still fight for them, my loves
what else can i do?)
though schools bear the weight
of society’s choices
future pays the price
if i’d made the test
they would trust me and take it
knowing it’s real
but we aren’t trusted
we’re blamed, we bear the burden
the party’s on us
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