Emperor Penguin

I am the empress
you the emperor
as you sit for over a month,
our young tucked
beneath your flaps of skin, fur
protected from windy storms
harsher than hell
while I waddle my way
across Antarctica,
weak from giving birth,
starved from lack of fish,
the iciness engulfing me
until I feel I can move no more.

But it is you,
it is them,
huddled together in fatherly love,
that push me forward,
reaching the sea
with its wealth of life,
bringing it back
for you, for them,
for all of us to taste
as we form a new season.

Use What Fits

i drank too much
and learned that i can fit
a day’s worth of clothes
a bungee cord
a pair of gloves
an oversized computer cord
a MacBook
and a six-pack of vanilla porter
in my saddle bag
(though the bike will tip if i let go).

this is a list poem
so let me add
that with the shower
the lack of wash cloths
and the realization
that towels were in the dryer,
he and i shared a single hand towel
to dry our dripping skin,
got out the exercise ball
and had us a real ball
(punny, right? it was.)

what could i fit in a Friday?
a five a.m. bike ride
seven classes
three 200-hundred-word posts
a happy two hours
with five friends at the bar
finishing my latest novel
dinner with my family
and love with my husband.

Dear Ball

You may sit,
a gluttonous ball of air
collecting dust most of the year.
but this exercise ball has bounce,
and if the district who offered you to me
knew what we’ve used you for,
they’d shake my hand for
burning the most calories
in the most creative fashion.
Thank you, ball,
for bouncing into my life.

Pie

how strange it is to hear them
in the back seat of our car,
though they belong to us.
wasn’t it only a moment ago
that he and i drove down this road
and stopped at Village Inn for pie,
a Friday night with nowhere to go,
nothing to do, no responsibilities?

they chirp their wonderings like baby birds,
but they are no longer babies
as they sing in Spanish the
possibilities of what color
Doctor Dino, the preschool
take-home toy, will be next year, as he
has changed from blue to red to green
in the hands of oldest, middle, youngest.

Denver, too, has changed since i first,
at age eleven, took a bus across town
with my friend, eating lunch in
the Tabor Center and pretending to shop.
now the light rail has taken us here,
to a Convention Center that didn’t exist
amongst fancy four-star hotels built up
like mocking gods in the face of recession.

he and i, we are not the same either.
there will be no stop at Village Inn,
no pie. instead we listen:
“Va ser… ¡rojo! ¡rosario! ¡amarillo! ¡azul!”
and i think, we’ll never know the color.
our baby will be out of preschool, Doctor Dino
will be in some other little girl’s home,
and these streets? they’ll never stay the same.

Hands

you come into my mind
as i wonder about the state of our world
as i worry on empty stones
as i beseech the heavens for answers

there you are, pop!
with your generous, gentle hands,
your offerings like gold
in the hands of the needy,
your love as pure and smooth
as a newborn’s hands,
and i remember.

i remember that
what it will take are
the hands of people like you
to shape the world into
the place we want our children
to call their own.

Beam

just as i step into the light
that beams beneath the night
i take your hand in mine
and reach across your spine

on the other side of the street
is where our souls will meet
she will lead the way
we will learn to play

like children we could be
the ones who are always free
they make us who we are
we search for the first star

but this is just a dream
this bright and shining beam
the truth is there are shadows
the truth is in the hollows

your steps catch up to mine
can i reach across the line?
i search for what we’ve lost
our hearts caked with frost.

Veins

in windowless hell i sit
surrounded by computers.
technology seethes into my veins,
hard plastic pounds my ass.

keyboards and mice click
like the rodents they ought to be.
sighs and questions filter into
the stuffy dark room.

i am here but i am not here.
my mind, just like theirs,
wanders down the hallway,
out the door, into the open air.

i can picture the pedals,
the tires taking me home,
the summer heat seeping through me
like blood through my veins.

i can feel the bath-warm water
lapping around our naked skin,
his hands on my back in the soft
moments of a Kentucky summer.

in windowless hell i sit
surrounded by computers.
technology seethes into my veins,
gives me the keys to take me home.

Patio

how nice
as fall closes in
that we sit here with our dinner
(one last time?)
and listen
as the wind whistles
through our getting-taller trees
and the girls dive on and off
their matching swings
and the dry air tickles
our perfect-temp skin
and we can be, just be,
the perfect family.

Sorrow, Love

it’s the witching hour
and here, all across town,
evils have worked their way into
the darkness engulfing us.

as quiet as a kitten snuffling
against the door, she whispers
that she is sick,
that she needs help.

with ginger hands we strip
off her sodden clothes,
and i run a washcloth under
water so hot it might sting her.

up and down her small body
i wipe away the illness, then
slip the clean nightgown over
her head in one anxious movement.

the new (old) bed in the green room awaits.
she crawls in and i whisper,
Do you want me to lie here with you?
she whimpers and nods, words lost.

i ask her to move over a bit,
but before i have slid in beside her,
she has inched her body wholly
against mine, her fingers on my face.

When you were a baby, I say,
the tears already sliding down my cheeks,
we used to share this bed every night,
just you and me, girl
.

he comes in, offers to replace me,
but he can see the tracks down my cheeks,
her tiny fingers on my chin,
and without another word,
leaves us in our bed of sorrow, love.

Oddities

an odd couple
him outspoken
earrings and hair
thick with want of a brush
she perfectly manicured
tight as a spindle
of silken thread

their words bounce off
one another, harsh, playful
forced, relaxed
his mouth open and loud,
her lips pinched and defiant

with them we will take a new step,
form a new friendship,
walk our children hand in hand with theirs,
hoping the oddities
that make us (them)
who we are meant to be
will be the same oddities
that will bring, keep us together.