another battle
is it the rain, the music?
or just being twelve?
preteen mood swings break
my relationship with my
once-sweet little girl
i try to stay calm
bring forth my yoga breathing
my inner smile
but rain keeps beating
stinging our faces with tears
will i lose this war?
motherhood
Yesterday…
the very next day
frustration rules parenthood
can’t i just have peace?
That Reminder of Parenthood
i didn’t get a photo
of that bright face looking out from the crowd
of the circle of middle school spur-of-the-moment dancers
jamming to a Middle Eastern tune
with their white black brown faces
and her Latin American dress spinning out from under
a tunnel of happiness
there is no way
no possible way
my phone could have captured
the enraptured joy of that moment
of the confidence instilled back into my
fifth-grade-turned-sour timid child
who has found her place
in the oft-militaristic
ever-loving ever-respectful
intensity of love
that is this school
and when i see those
bright twelve-year-old eyes
shining back at me
because she knows i know
(to pain and back, we’ve been)
it is that moment of parenthood
that reminder of why we are parents
why we bring them into this world
and spend our Saturday nights inside a school
eating foods from around the world
listening to the intricate threads that sew together our humanity
why we love
why we live
why we still hope
for a better tomorrow
That’s Motherhood
blueberry morning
jumping, painting, coloring
make my Mother’s Day
(never mind the fights
the back talk that’s motherhood
the teen wannabes)
to end, we play spoons
the morning snow has melted
we have only blooms
only love we share
with slightly spoiled three girls
who gave me this day
Heavenly
on your first Mother’s Day,
you will sit under the sun.
rain clouds won’t creep in
to cover the sky with gray.
puffy white balls of cotton
will sprinkle the blue
with heavenly sparkles tinged
with the gold from your heart.
on your first Mother’s Day,
you will hold your womb close
and your memories closer
(let them fly, those clouds)
you will drink iced tea
on a deck that shines
like a knight in armor,
ready to face the fight.
on your first Mother’s Day,
you will tip your glass
to all that could have been
and all that will be… soon
you will face the heavenly blue,
your eyes clear with sun
dipped in heavenly gold.
you will remember… and forgive
on your first Mother’s Day,
you will have the hope that holds,
the heavenly hope that makes us see
how blue-sky-sunny our dreams can be.
Webbed
come down to Jesus
teary search for what matters
(it can’t be plugged in)
but will she listen
or resent me forever?
words lost in life’s web
Storytime
storytime request
pippi longstocking brings us
back to younger years
i’ve blinked and they’ve grown
can read their own stories now
though they still listen
it won’t be long now
i’ll blink again, they’ll be gone
pippi lost to truth
Parental Confession
how much easier
life would be without children
yet how meaningless
Sunday Summary
blueberry waffles
begin a windy spring day
end of sleepovers
playground half empty
we watch cormorants build nests
wait for timeliness
it comes with patience
for people nothing like us
who make Rio grin
oldest gets her wish
while younger two learn to sew
with grandma’s guidance
kids’ clothes for one buck
the gift Goodwill offers me
shorts for all summer
medium rare steak
(vegetarian’s nightmare)
my chef-made dream meal
so ends my Sunday
sister talk moves toward kindness
summer dreams await
Cycling through the City
teary-eyed ending
to fifteen-mile bike ride
oh, but donut grin
we stopped at projects
perfect playground, tire swings
Africans playing
(my dream neighborhood:
kids play outside, not with screens
poverty beats us???)
my middle child
pedaling through our city
here: my home, my heart
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