If You Were Me

if you were me,
tears and doubt would be so common
you’d learn to silently cry,
to wipe away moisture
while putting puzzle pieces together
with your five-year-old,
to catch that knot in your throat
before it bubbles into a balloon
of anguished sobs

if you were me,
you would be more than
an overly-confident status update
who brags about cycling down the interstate
for a late-night gas emergency,
who flippantly adds an impossible dream
to the brutal reality of all
that you must carry
on your already heavily-laden shoulders

if you were me,
you would see the reality
behind your words,
you would know how utterly small
you stand beneath decisions
that press against your soul
and tear you apart from the inside out

if you were me,
you might want to be
(just for one moment)
the safe-secure-satisfied working mom
who would never do this to her family

but then…
you wouldn’t be me.
i wouldn’t be me.
and what kind of truth
would we both face
if we met, you and i,
and we were not ourselves?

Road Trip Haiku #13

respite on the sea
if only boats could decide
which way our bow points

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Road Trip Haiku #11

Maine beaches of youth
please a new generation
cousin love abounds

Road Trip Haiku #10

we cross the state line
Connecticut, once her home
instant rain breaks me

Road Trip Haiku #9

coin in gold fountain
M’s futile Central Park wish:
let us go to Spain

Road Trip Haiku #8

sycamore background
leads to multiracial swings
Jersey touching soul

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Road Trip Haiku #7

drizzle barely breaks
never ending cloud cover
shiny road to hope

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Aspens

she gave her the aspen trees
she never saw my dream
deep and dark
white and light
they were there
all connected in
an organism grander
than what we humans can imagine

they sit now in this perfect house
(perhaps i should have waited)
in eastern Kentucky
with crown moldings
and the dining room we long
to be a part of

i zoom in on them now
her perfectly artistic fingertips
able to make an art
only seen in dreams

Interstate 70

a drought has plagued
Kentucky’s usually green grasses
(driest year in recorded history)

so far we’ve racked 4000 miles
on a car that doesn’t belong to us
escaping our own drought
wildfire smoke trailing behind us
along interstate 70

the puffy white wisps
of burning forests
whose beetle-bitten trees
can have peace in heaven

are no comparison

to the sunless sky
on a drought-starved day
when showers won’t stop
and renewal bounces
across horse fields
and wet pavement
as if this is a new tomorrow

can i swallow this rain
can i bury my face
in a bed of furious clouds
and turn my inner drought
inside out so that i can feel
my roots take hold of new life?

i can’t see beyond the greasy
rainsoaked windshield
to find the answer
i left somewhere
along interstate 70

Brooklyn

he says it is a woman
but i know it is New York
if he had its blood burned
into his childhood
he would understand
just as my girls
who argue with him
about the name of the song
and count exit signs
along the interstate
we will be there soon
we will be there soon

we will walk across that bridge
and enter a new dimension
of the city we all know
as we close our eyes
and dream a new version of life
just like my great-grandfather
(the one i never knew)
who pulled my frail and tiny
great-grandmother across the sea
and saw the glorious light
of the Empire State
he will see
they will see
(when we walk across that bridge)
just how beautiful
a new life can be