this park is our church
(we rode past three on the way)
god is in details
dress-obsessed oldest
on a limb over a lake
this windy fall day
blessed to have new friends
and her two shadow sisters
nothing like my youth
(how i would have loved
my sister to include me–
just to be my friend)
outdoor play keeps them
a ring of companionship
beauty comes in threes
we don’t need sabbath
just the joy of our family
god lives in us all
estoy de goma
rubber burning insides out
what was i thinking?
stress toasted with fun
drinks in hand, trick-or-treating
but i got tricked
my worst hangover
while baby cuddled me warm
pajamas all day
will i ever learn
that joy is in their faces
not in this poison?
cold reality
when we hide behind costumes
and drink to tell truths
data-driven dread
tops off day of smooth lessons
i forgive google
yes, you once plagued me
with your aversion to Word
but can i blame you?
Bill Gates rules the world
you won’t share your piece of it
that i do admire
though Sergei, my love?
have you ever herded cats?
aka, taught school?
next time, please warn me
throw Microsoft to the wind
but take me with you
Janis Joplin hair
might as well accept it’s mine
Happy Halloween
drive to edge of earth
that’s how far money stretches
there’s never enough
space, bedrooms, hardwood
three people and all their shit
spread suburban sloth
walkability
on a scale of one to ten?
tractor crossing sign
there is no number
to measure my distaste here
size shouldn’t matter
Americans Dream
big, better phallic boasting
in the shape of homes
American Dream:
be Janis Joplin–different
don’t let it kill you
not a single soul
in this forty-person room
has guts to speak truth
sadly, nor do i
phone in hand, blog post ready
[i can’t lose her now]
you see, i’ve lost her
and the darkness in my heart?
no match on this Earth
so i won’t speak truth
i’ll sugar-coat it, smile, nod:
age brings clarity
in that clarity
drink-free, sunny fall Sunday
i die to tell all
in her card, later
she’ll see every word and cry
for all that’s lost, gained
she couldn’t find words
only pics, video, songs
everything for him
i still feel empty
she texts me later, heart burned
you’re the only one…
even her husband
didn’t know who her dad was
[i’ve known her longer]
after the speeches
seeing her, baby in arms?
the love. of my life.
she is my best friend
her loss is my loss, our loss
never hers alone
bubbles in the sky
blown from his loving, warm lips
i live her longing
not a single soul
who speaks, making him perfect
will dare speak the truth
will i dare speak it?
a shadow follows her life
dark, drinking daddy
Eritrean lunch
post-war teacher offering
how blessed they make me
youngest’s six sound bites
mad, glad, hungry, scared… favorite?
Mama’s “Für Elise”
tears backstage, waiting
for a song i can’t quite play
that’s her favorite sound?
middle school yelling
another homework battle
oldest sets standards
caught in the middle
daughter two rattles school story
steals bed time cuddles
how spicy, this meal
carried across continents
homemade, just like us
a rainy Sunday
filled with empty prayers to god
that i can’t quite hear
imagine this life
wasted living for heaven
all to hide our grief
let grief live on earth
with our hands upon our hearts
bleeding to let go
the clouds broke evening
god did not exempt the rain
it flooded our souls
homework Saturday
spun through web of fall colors
parked our playground joy
old enough to ride
and catch dreams along the way
my girls growing up
last of season cones
pumpkin pie, football flavors
as the north wind blows
still sing childhood
though the oldest’s lost in books
hope i can find her
leaves sprinkle the ground
like fire light our way home
home… life Saturday
lunch hesitation
one year from Africa, lost
in linguistic haze
night in confession
one year from Spain, llevame
atrás, where heart rests
lost in translation
his understanding, my words
we compromise fear
it rests behind tongues
from mother countries, our own
till we can spit truth
let us excavate
set our syllables free, give
wings to our words
list of excuses
ribboned present presented
mail-ready, pre-sent
in the hands of god
swirling death surrounding me
don’t want to hear it
how do i work through
stress, grief, everyday mountains,
but you’re not able?
i see days through tears
gather up my girls in hugs
can’t you find your joy?
peace comes with jobs done
satisfaction of success
unwrap your conscience
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