Bytes of My Day

two chances to prove
that i deserve to be here
fall, winter, fierce fear

two chances plagued twice
year before? a standard test
today? dead Internet

set up my failure
as Google Classroom crashes
tearing me to bytes

i wish she loved them
as fully as i love them
instead? i strike out

after school, i walk
to get six-day car hostage
and then i see them:

top down, sun shining
classic MG sports car grins
this October day

yes, my mechanics
can charge whatever they want
cruise streets in fixed cars

we’ll be right over
hood open, my car broken
and i’m the failure?

daughter calls: tire flat.
sun, why dost thou forsake me
shining so damn bright?

my car stays hostage
we’ll walk into tomorrow
blindsided by fall

(i’ll dream of driving
of summers off, beach tours
of all that bytes me)

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Give, and You Shall Receive

list of excuses
ribboned present presented
mail-ready, pre-sent

in the hands of god
swirling death surrounding me
don’t want to hear it

how do i work through
stress, grief, everyday mountains,
but you’re not able?

i see days through tears
gather up my girls in hugs
can’t you find your joy?

peace comes with jobs done
satisfaction of success
unwrap your conscience

Citations

poorly-worded goal
provided by school district
let’s confuse students

find main idea,
three facts, underlying themes
cite text evidence

even in haiku
i clarify what they can’t
why are they in charge?

come home to harsh truths:
charter school rules, union blues
paradox, my life

my new objective:
theme that saves main idea
minus the details

(life is a challenge
of unplugged net books, low pay;
cite love to survive)

Choir Practice

with stressed frustration
my mother’s voice comes through mine
i’m a child again

only now? my girl
is the brunt of my anger
yet she bounces back

resilience through love
something i was missing then
my mom aches to fix

life’s a big regret
played out in haunted voices
singing us to sleep

Dark Spotlight

once my side of town
now the other side of death
my heart aches for you

white clown suit darkness
metaphor for life we live
hidden in darkness

how he played guitar
for my beautiful best friend
for my soul sister

i am a true friend
because my love never stops
my love never stops

it starts with the truth
the truth of that death moment
when you were reborn

when i cried for you
you hate to cry publicly
even for our love

spotlight on darkness
as bright as mansions’ windows
or September rain

either way, we love
living for the dark secrets
while god drives us home

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Carnival Carol

start and end with work
how ungodly my Sunday
blessings everywhere

painted face friends grin
i enjoy two thirds of joy
my kids everywhere

from Iraq, Burma
Eritrea, refugees
whose faces aren’t here

i guide them with words
never as harsh as a mom
because they’ve suffered

my girls? only joy
bestowed on Americans
with rich white privilege

no way to explain
my work-fair-filled church-less day
may God bless us all

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Chef’s Special

world of escape
found with taste of native tongue
were they even trapped?

you demand rigor
i serve it up, fully cooked
and yet, i get baked

i prefer full bites
not watered-down salt swallows
burnt ineptitude

i’d make an omelette
or black brownies you’ve turned down
but why waste the taste?

full on tongue, this love
so salt-sweet you’d live for it
as i do for them

but, let’s have plain eggs.
brownies too dark for breakfast?
how fast you break me

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Glory Be Home

environs burning
a newly bright beginning
but are you two-faced?
will you sell my soul for yours?
beautiful, that face of yours

my girl as witness
to the only one i trust
how she knows my heart

i stand in ashes
created by betrayal
all the years back, us
how you’d turn that pretty face
and become the enemy

but leaves are falling
and i crunch my way back home
you’ll never hear it

half-circle of chairs
watching dog-walkers pass by
we munch our minions
share the glory of our days
glory be home to our days

Data-Driven InstructionS

to be number one
it takes a community
not a dictator

it’s all in the scores
that bring you to beg for wealth
what about teachers?

did you ever think
that if you led us higher
we could climb mountains?

success is not wealth
it’s not wrapped in white ribbon
it’s inside our kids

and who holds the key
the one that unlocks their tale?
teachers led by you

step down, open doors:
your choice will make or break us
break us, then break them

to be number one
you have to love all colors
and see beyond scores

Before the Bell Rings

Sitting in the dark, my door always open, he was waiting for me. I can’t arrive before seven this year, and I told him that when he already asked. There he sat, one year and seven months from a journey between Iraq, Turkey, and Afghanistan, trying to decipher the ever-coded language of Fitzgerald, totally unaware of such a thing as a speak-easy, alcoholism, mistresses, or sin.

And how could I explain, in the seventeen minutes before the bell, the demons of our society? Doesn’t he have tucked in his back pocket enough demons of his own?

“All honors classes, this year, Miss. And I guarantee I’ll be out of your remedial reading class by the end of the semester.”

But here we are, September 16. And he’s drowning in a bucket of noon-drinking Gatsby.

“Did your teacher (the newbie, I’m keeping internally) tell you anything about the Prohibition? About illegal smuggling of alcohol? About bars under the streets?”

“No. He just told us to read chapter four and answer these questions.”

The first one asks for a college-level interpretation of why Nick begins the chapter with the world taking its mistress at Gatsby’s while everyone else is at church on a Sunday morning.

“Oh, Mohammed…” It is all I can say. He will not have time to finish the chapter, to check out the movie (as I suggest), to thoroughly respond to questions that his limited English and foreign background will keep him from understanding.

And this is when my heart breaks, before the bell rings. Before it is fully light, before I even need to turn on the fan. It breaks for the journey, the immigrant’s journey. It breaks before and after dawn, in those hours I spend marking his papers but not beside him at his desk.

I cannot explain, in seventeen minutes, how demons have overtaken our society, 1922 or 2014. I cannot define all the words or find the subtle undertones of the great American novel.

I can only help him with a few questions and hope he will survive the journey, just like all the journeys he has carried across three continents.