Hazel at Best

four weeks: iced mocha
 from his teacher’s salary
 to my starving morn
 
 one more disruption
 to make my students argue
 (entitlements rule)
 
 his blue-eyed gesture
 almost makes the sacrifice
 worth the sinking sun
 
 he knows and i know
 that he can’t buy my return;
 best or not–i’m gone
 
 no blue eyes at home
 (from my man or anyone)
 on my girls’ faces
 
 nor a mocha bribe
 for the heart-winning teacher.
 cynic? true. best? yes.
 
 no film, court judges,
 observers, department heads
 are worth this money
 
 ’cause money can’t buy
 another summer soon lost
 in a blue-eyed search
 
 
 

Fruit Snacks

twenty pounds of fruit
 too many carrots to count
 unwanted by teens
 
 this bag carries all
 sometimes heavy, sometimes light
 let’s make us some juice!
 
 road trip car snack solved
 puréed, frozen, cooler prepped
 break open and serve
 
 (how i miss my girls
 away at camp, house too still)
 i fill it with plans
 
 

Weathering

flat tire, blue sky
 my Saturday summer break
 (till summer school ends)
 
 goslings with goslings
 we cycle through challenges
 and beat the rain home
 
 My Brother’s Bar waits
 with a perfect patio
 and Arnold Palmers
 
 REI repairs
 what’s left of my human faith
 ride home: tires full
 
 the creek overflows
 not enough to stop my girl
 (daredevil like me)
 
 now, patio time
 lighter rain than what we’ve had
 such is life, weather
 

The Buck that Burns Across My Back

It is 14:52 on the eve of ESL summer school. We have spent an entire day, AN ENTIRE DAY, planning for a sixty-five-minute lesson from curriculum that we first laid our eyes on this morning after a completely different and unrelated ENTIRE DAY presentation of curriculum yesterday. And at this moment, he announces that tomorrow, for the first day, the schedule will be “different.” That all our lesson planning has just been flushed down the toilet that has become our society.

I cried on my two-mile walk this morning. Not because it was too hot, or the views of the Perfect Denver Neighborhood weren’t impeccable. Or because I had to teach summer school for four weeks to pay for summer camp for my girls for ONE. But because of an article I read about the University of Phoenix, of all things. About how, in five years, their enrollment has decreased by fifty percent. And starting July 1st, a new law will require that they prove that their graduates make enough money to pay back the loans that their for-profit greed has forced them to take.

I was thinking these things as I made my way across town to the locale of this year’s grant-funded summer school, the University of Denver, a NONprofit institution with gorgeous grounds and transgender bathrooms and air conditioning and classes that start at $1200 a CREDIT.

And how screwed I am. Not because I think that the University of Phoenix is so damn amazing that it could grind up the 100-year-old trees of Denver’s “Ivy League of the West.” But because I have to do this. I have to do this damn summer school and have a part time job as an adjunct-but-never-real professor, that I have to bend my will to the beck and call of disorganized, incapable-of-communicating administrators, all for the buck that burns across my back.

That the measly $600 that I sometimes earn in a month at the University of Phoenix is sometimes all that keeps us from bowing down to debt.

And when he comes in at 13:33 and tells me that they haven’t been able to contact more than 11 students for our summer school, I ask him if it will be cancelled, if I will be shit out of luck on all counts this Tuesday. “No worries… it’s already accounted for… a grant. No pasa nada.” And his blue eyes and Argentinian accent are slappable. “And who paid for it?” I demand, the third time in two months I’ve asked, a question he’s dodged until this moment. “Well… you have. The taxpayers. The READ Act.”

And it all circles back to me. The University of Denver grounds I stand on that have been manicured by professional gardeners. The school I could never afford to attend, nor will any of my children even think of applying to. The public education that is filled and funded with so many holes, twenty-seven gorgeous textbooks, full-color photos and activities galore, a slew of classroom supplies including an electric pencil sharpener, that 11 students will take advantage of … all the rest? To waste.

The “for-profit” evil University of Phoenix that has allowed my family to break free of the paycheck-to-paycheck cycle that is a teacher’s salary, that allowed us to live on a pittance in Spain, that has allowed me to… breathe.

What is an education worth? Why won’t parents commit to a forty-five minute bus ride for free materials, expert teachers, individualized classes, and free breakfast and lunch? Why won’t the University of Denver be asked to publish data on how many students graduate with a super-fancy psychology degree and start their salaries at $22,000? Why won’t our government ever just see that EDUCATION SHOULD BE FREE??

This is my Tuesday. Let the games begin. The Hunger Games, real world style.

What Makes a Marriage

The campground we paid $57 to reserve was covered in snow. Bruce texted me at 2:52 and said we had to cancel. I thought of six devastated girls and my Jordan National Forest upbringing. “Just drive down 285. Surely there’s something.” He reluctantly agreed to meet me in Buena Vista. At 8pm, we pulled into our non-campground, no-bathroom site and fixed Spanish dinner by 19:30. 😉 The next morning it rained/hailed for 3.5 hours, ending with a frightening lightning storm when I said, “Kids, get in the car! NOW!!” And I blessed the lord to let him drive…. Up the road and into a mud pit. He screamed, cried out, “Our brand new car!! Why did I do that?! Why did we come on this trip?!!” And I opened my door, stepped in 7 inches of mud, and walked 100 yards to a camp full of 4-wheel-drive fanatics who came with their tow line and Jeep Rubicon and pulled all 8 of us, Pilot and all, right out of that pit of hell. And he drove reverse for a quarter mile (something I could never do) and the hail melted and the rain stopped and that’s. What makes a marriage.

La Escuela de Verano

finally, a chance
 spring breaks through with summer hope
 work for road trip dream
 
 
 

Vacation’s End

back home, we play ball

wash and fold six laundry loads

shop, dye eggs, move on

   

     

Road Trip Home

my new addiction:
(usually our view’s Kansas)
photos from the drive
chimney rock deserts
mountain ranches, reservoirs 
blue sky frames us all
how have we missed this?
(family obligations, funds)
my home state, a dream
beauty of road trips
is what you thought you could see
when you arrived there
in reality
the open road brings beauty
curves, peaks, hills… journeys
   

         

The Heart of Colorado 

too perfect to leave
we book another joyride
through windswept canyon
no crowds choke here
to see daunting morphed-rock views
of painted cliff sides 
a slice of heaven
carved by river, rock, blue sky
hot springs and hot tubs
small town gifts await
behind jeeps, the off season
we become locals
Guinness chocolate cak
miner’s offer: hidden gems 
found buried in quartz 
night ends with moonrise
a ghost peeking over peaks
as full as my heart
   

               

unadvertised grunt

standing, waiting, buses, crowds

in national parks

yes, the view is grand

if streams of tourists wait

rather than push, shove

green river bottom 

whiny pine cone crunching walk

patience slowly comes

what will they recall

twenty years, many paths hence?

the waiting canyon?

or jubilant chants

away from home, friends, phones, games

(they make their own games)

it’s all a game, right

to see nature carve her art

humans: dumbfounded