She Comes… I Stay

burst from these dark days
 of post-holiday winter
 news to change a life
 
 (or ten thousand lives)
 cause that’s how many she’ll touch
 in her tenure here
 
 this comes full circle
 (the young-mother sacrifice,
 the risky Spain year)
 
 to work with passion
 to be led with compassion
 to love, love my school
 
 it’s all i’ve wanted
 thirteen years waiting for strength
 to be my leader

MLK Thaw

walk for forgiveness
 for the fight for lost causes
 (that we still fight for)
 
 by some miracle
 this day is always balmy
 as we make our way
 
 scooters–a new trick
 to have me chase after them
 instead of dragged feet
 
 the mix of colors
 between sky, humanity
 carries this bright wave
 
 we walk for peace, love
 so we’ll always remember
 what not to forget
 
 we walk ’cause we can
 because peace comes in small steps
 found in winter warmth
 
 

Black and White and Blue

winter-lit moments
 after seventeen hours
 are worth the world
 
 


clean house, soft kitty
 best: sun in January
 will soothe me to sleep
 

Los Ganadores

fourteen class hours
 in three days. cold winter walk
 to house of illness.
 
 


no breaks this weekend
 as oldest tells project woes
 (procrastination)
 
 middle craves pancakes
 but class again tomorrow
 allows no bake time
 
 (he’ll be up all night
 holding a pail for baby
 to give me this chance)
 
 as it’s always been–
 i work, work, work… he supports
 (and we’re all winners)

Twilit Trees

winter walk outlasts
 the pouty mood she’s been in
 (teen angst mystery)
 
 perhaps she saw light
 filtering through twilit trees
 revealing herself
 
 or found joy in steps
 filled with imagination
 shared by her sisters
 
 whatever it is
 that brings her bright smile back
 i’ll take with this walk
 
 

Flakes Fell

last night light flakes fell
 to make a snow-bright morning
 (soul slightly renewed)
 
 i drove in silence
 not able to think of words
 that she’d understand
 
 the unspoken sat
 between us like the car crash
 we saw just later
 
 she spoke and screamed out
 (firemen swarmed the panic
 of woman on phone)
 
 (i still had no words
 nothing about the late night,
 her sneaking downstairs)
 
 (nothing on found phone
 retrieved in secret to watch
 the blossoms of lust)
 
 just sadness, light flakes
 falling from the winter sky
 crashing our morning
 
 so we said goodbye
 (i gave her my hat and gloves.
 she gave me a grin.)
 
 (till midday flakes fell
 then the sun burned all to mush
 thoughts still unspoken)
 
 
 

Knitted

an icy walk down
 on the road too drive-scary
 to downtown Estes
 
 riverwalk and all
 we sipped tea and ate popcorn
 and made our way “home”
 
 with fire waiting
 and Colorado mountains
 in A-frame beauty
 
 this weekend knits us
 embroidered with paint and thread
 built by firelight
 
 

Fire… and Ice

to ring in New Year
 we drove two hours past home
 to make a weekend
 
 we saw A-frame views
 and slept in with circle flames
 before we ventured
 
 he slid us down hill
 and we slid in the new year
 with sleds, skis, snowshoes
 
 because life is such:
 moments of fear, winter ice
 and warm flame endings
 
 

Los Molinos

finally finished
 ready to send on its way
 to a hopeful life
 
 


on my winter walk
 to the store for its framing
 city windmills spun
 
 


semi-frozen lake
 with geese searching snow for grass
 i clocked three miles
 
 the girls took friendjoy
 and kitten-lap-book cuddles
 to carve our Tuesday
 
 


(yet–there was a hole–
 chicken noodle in crockpot,
 rolls ready to bake)
 
 he worked late again
 and bore the winter ride home
 no windmills in sight

The Blaring Results Of…

The fire alarm went off just after the minute bell, thirty seconds before finals were to start. I had already arrived early enough to stand in line and sign out my district final. I had taken the time to organize them name by name on every other desk, ready for the students to walk in, find their place, and write their best essay of this semester.

When the alarm blared into our ears, I told the kids what door to walk out. I grabbed my coat, ready to wrap some warmth around this December Monday. I locked my classroom door, thinking about the security of the tests.

And I entered the line. The students-ready-to-give-up line. The teachers-wondering-if-there’d-be-enough-time-now-for-finals line.

And in their arms, like infants ready to suckle? Tight against their chests like their lives depended upon the survival of a few stacks of lined booklets?

Their district finals.

“Where are your tests? Did you leave them in your room??”

Like I had committed a cardinal sin.

And this moment, more than any other, is why I think our society has completely fallen apart. No way our school, our city, our fire department would plan a fire drill the Monday morning moment before finals would begin.

So this could be REAL. We could be walking out of our school into a bitter cold standstill for hours as we wait for the beautiful firemen to rush five blocks in their blaring white truck to SAVE OUR LIVES.

And I left, God forbid, the tests in that damn room.

(Of course it was an error. Of course they were doing construction in the gym that set off the alarm. Of course they adjusted our schedule, making the day twenty minutes longer than planned, cutting into our lunch, our grading time, our collection of children from school, forcing us to stand in line again, forcing our children to stand like common prostitutes on the corner because their mother couldn’t arrive on time, all because of the security of that damn test.)

Of course I’ll give up my planning period tomorrow to catch up.

But I will not carry that test like it’s my baby. I have enough babies. Three of my own and thousands more. Their words are worth more than what the district (the society) asked them to write in sixty minutes. Their lives are worth more than the security of this test.

Our lives are worth more than the security of a TEST.

Someday, I hope, we will realize this.