anticipation
disturbs every thought in mind
waiting for our fate
Spain Haiku
anticipation
disturbs every thought in mind
waiting for our fate
The Colors of My Morning
spotlighted white half circle
against a blanket of navy blue,
shadowy mountains sheathed in pink,
golden streams pouring over bridge,
cotton candy clouds of violet,
calming gray threads stitched into
budding green quilt-work pastures,
deep-set pools of brown nestled
in five heads of beige curiosity.
the moon rests, the sun rises
to the colors of my morning
A Million Times More
the emotions are so intense
when the right song is played
when my girls say the right words
i cannot fathom my life without them
they sit under green blanket
as i write this
my oldest inflecting as needed
the words she learned years ago to read
my middle girl?
the best combination
of crone and imaginative maiden
fantasy worlds mixed with logic
and the baby?
idealism at its best
all the things we’ve dreamed of
wrapped up in a five-year-old’s summary
i cannot fathom
my life
without these girls
(i’ve said it before
i’ve named a poem
i’ll say it a million times more)
If I Were to Make You Mine
i know you had it in you this morning,
the urge to pull me close,
to wrap me in your warmth.
i know it was there between each of us.
could i have spared more time?
could i have cut back
on the hills hovering before me?
sometimes i wonder about the miles
that lie between here and there:
how tightly knit they appear,
how curvacious and beautiful they can be
and if i were to make you mine,
would i have seen the shrinking moon,
would i have made all the green lights
that graciously gave me my record time?
would i have been the same person,
giving in to one moment over another?
these small decisions
made before dawn
are the ones that haunt us in the end
Easter Haiku
red stain on carpet
failed transmission, table lost
Easter with friends: win
Golden Dream
a three thousand pound weight,
sacks of gold too heavy to lift.
if i could fill them with feathers
and build myself a pair of wings?
i would fly right into the sky
and release myself from monetary need
instead i face a financial dilemma–
drop the gold i can’t quite carry
into the gaping hole of a beast
who will swallow it whole and us too,
leaving behind nothing but wisps
lighter than feathers, unable to fly?
or hold fast to a dream that flies
into every moment of my sleeping wake,
forget the beasts that bear down on me,
and throw my sacks of gold into the sea
as i fly my way to a tomorrow that
i have waited for years to belong to me?
No One but Me
i have less than five minutes
i promised i would write
and there’s no way
to put in five minutes
the twenty-three wind-torn miles
the moonset once again
(but this time it was all. mine.)
because no one in his right mind
would strap a saddle bag
filled with lunch, clothes, a laptop,
and enough brownies to
make fifteen teachers’ day
onto the side of a bike
and ride straight into a headwind
no one but me
I Couldn’t Begin to Describe
she is crying again
he asks why and only i know
those are my tears on her face
i smile outwardly
it’s amazing how outwardly i smile
on nights like this?
these are the nights
when i wonder
if i will ever get over this
her request is so simple
it is five-year-old simple
please don’t go to work mama
it is all i have ever asked
and all i have ever known
all warped in the same twisted
conundrum
without him i would lose myself
(she says another story)
and i cannot commiserate
because
without
him
i
would
lose
myself
i couldn’t begin to describe
i couldn’t begin to describe
the person i met
(i was just a baby)
who i knew i would marry
i couldn’t begin to describe
the fortune sent by God himself
(he would hate that i include Him)
at age nineteen
i couldn’t begin to describe
the man i married
you would never understand
you could never understand
and just like i tell my
nine-year-old daughter
don’t marry anyone who is
not as good as him
–and what if i don’t find
someone as good as him
(God how she’s my daughter)
then don’t get married
(insert tears)
OK Mama
i couldn’t begin to describe
just
the
person
you
will
never
see
Electrified Files
outspoken as always
he asks why i smile
she loves watching us work,
his classmate chimes in
(all teachers live for torture)
he has caught me in a moment
(one of many on this first day back)
where my available memory sits
on the forefront of my monitor
(the smile will never be far
from lips that can’t hide happiness)
(i will never tell him
i will tell almost no one)
the images i tuck in electrified files
at the base of my hard drive
ready to upload
a screensaver’s pleasure
at the smiling touch of a keyboard
The Royal Arch
i can run up this hill
(it is more like a mountain)
i’ll take my years-old Adidas
and pound my way, breathless,
till i see that rock formation
sweat streams from my pores
and i snatch glances back at you
we might as well go all the way now
i point out, once we see the
.23 miles left sign at the top of the pass
you must rest, drink, and i gather in
the view of the rock-steps,
the city of my dreams,
and your sweat/cologne scent
while i wait for you
the last stretch, trail hidden
by a trickling waterfall
amongst rocks so steep we must
use the strength of our palms to pull,
is always the hardest
there it is though…
the arch that has rested above my world
for all of my life,
and without this beautiful day,
these strenuous steps,
without you, i would have missed it
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