Baking

For those of you unversed in baking, this is all you need to know:

Don’t waste your money on cheap flour.
Scavenge magazine recipes like a hungry bear.
Talk to chefs. In person and in your dreams.
Surprise your coworkers at least once a week. It’ll make both of your days.
Never underestimate the delectability of pure butter.
A Kitchenaid standup mixer is God’s gift to the kitchen.
Balk at store-bought bakery items. Teach your children to balk as well.
Plan your birthday parties and holiday desserts months in advance.
Make everything that comes out of your oven a culinary orgasm.
Hershey’s Special Dark Cocoa and chocolate chips. Need I say more?

Past, Future

our lives
our American lives
exist in movies, books
filled with flashbacks
memorabilia
from our characters’ pasts.

our lives
our American lives
exist in the here, now
filled with wanton disregard
consumption
of our planet’s future.

their lives
their American lives
exist in computers, smart phones
filled with violent imagery,
absorption
of themselves, their future.

my life
my American life
exists in words, hope
filled with cautionary love,
faith
in them, us, our future.

Take Me In

take me in
i’m surrounded
i give in
pink purple white balloons
pink red streamers
a Guinness cake
homemade pumpkin pie
take me in

take me in
for a day’s preparation
for a simple birthday celebration
six years old
and she wanted the beer cake
the pumpkin pie
small and special
for the actual day

take me in
because never in my childhood
did i spend a day
an entire weekend day
preparing for a party
that she’ll remember
small and simple
in her mind tomorrow
next year
the moment
she closes her eyes
for the last time

take me in
i’ll be there by her side
when she
opens her presents
welcomes her guests
plays her games
closes her eyes
and makes her wish
our wish
for that moment
that we could
all be six again.

Through My Eyes

i need for you to see it
through my eyes
though i know
you’ll never understand.

it doesn’t help me to know
just how horrible it is
for someone else.
no matter how hard i try.

i crave what i have lost
what i dreamt most about
what is gone
and cannot be replaced.

this is a poem
filled with words
none of which can describe
what i see through my eyes.

Forever Season

they are small still
but not small enough.
i look at the magnet
of the fat-cheeked, bald baby
holding up the picture
of our young niece.

there she sits now,
her cheeks hollow, thin,
running her fingers across
the iPad and reading aloud
to the small sisters
who sit on either side of her.

how can this be?
how can i remember so well
the clearest moment of my life,
when i first became her mother,
their mother,
and it was just a moment ago,
i wish it were just a moment ago.

i want to take my Mason jars
and instead of canning tomatoes
trap beneath the lids
seal tight for a forever season
the years that have slipped
out of the bubbling steam of my kitchen,
out into the yard, the cul-de-sac, the school,
trap them there and stack
my three beauties in their youth,
displayed in sparkling rows
of love along my pantry shelf.

Offstage

I’m still here
though only a shadow
of who you think you know.

i’ve shined my light
a bit too bright
so i think i’ll step offstage.

it’s comfortable here
behind these velvet curtains
i’m not questioned, not uncertain.

but i see you trying to peek,
wondering how i learned to be meek.
what i learned instead? how to be me.

How to Live on One Salary (Remix)

1. Forget about owning a new car. If you can’t forget it, stop reading now. You can eliminate up to $800 a month in payments if you don’t have a car payment and its ensuing expensive insurance.
2. Buy the minimum coverage for car insurance. Take a risk. It’s worth it.
3. Pay off all your debts (other than mortgage) before you consider it.
4. Save for retirement in a 401K, 403b, or whatever you can. It may be the only money you save for a while. But it’s something.
5. Take advantage of refinancing when the interest rates are at their lowest.
6. Eat at home 90% of the time.
7. Bike or carpool to work.
8. Use your tax returns wisely: pay off debts, save a little, use the rest for a small vacation.
9. Speaking of vacations: drive. It’s better for the environment, less scheduled, and more up to you. Have kids? Drive at night. They’ll sleep, you’ll be happy.
10. Buy used. Buy used. Buy used. I just bought three sweaters, a hat, and two nice pairs of pants for work at the Goodwill for $22. Brand-name products that look brand new. Craigslist is a great place to find virtually anything you need, from kids’ toys to bikes.
11. Create a monthly budget. Stick to it as much as possible.
12. Expect the unexpected. Cars (especially the old one you’re driving) will break down. It’s better to put it on a credit card you can pay off in a few months than to pay a car payment.
13. Do a babysitting exchange with another family. Enjoy an occasional night out without the extra cost.
14. Look for sale items at the grocery store and stock up.
15. Cancel your cable. You can watch a variety of things on the Internet, and Netflix is much more affordable. There’s nothing on TV anyway.
16. Get books and audiobooks from the library. Music too.
17. For gift giving, take advantage of after-Christmas sales and stock up on kids’ toys and Christmas wrapping paper. Flip the wrapping paper inside out to wrap gifts for every occasion.
18. Give up hair dyeing, manicures, pedicures, and salons. You’re beautiful the way you are.
19. Weather-proof your house as much as possible to save money on energy costs. Use cold water for washing clothes.
20. Decide what you really need to buy versus what you want to buy. Make sound choices, and you’ll have extra money (occasionally) to blow on fun items.

Tweets

the mother of all songbirds
chatters away above
their cacophony,
her shrill tweets
outpacing even
the most diligent mouths
as they call out,
beaks wide open,
begging for food,
begging for love.

she flaps her wings
and darts around them,
her song more urgent,
its notes bolting into the sky
like flashes of lightning,
blinding everyone
with her circle of absorption,
feeding no one,
loving no one.

perhaps she’ll hear
(before it’s too late)
the beauty of their song,
perhaps she’ll see
(before they’re totally blind)
the urgency of their needs.
but until she learns
to think instead of tweet,
they will wait,
their mouths open,
ready for the quiet wings
of the song she keeps inside.

Seasoning

it is recipe,
apple,
zucchini,
pumpkin
season.

the kitchen smells
like cinnamon
concocted with cream
and nutmeg, cloves
pungent with their
pinch in the pie,
spiced apple skins
and pumpkin shells
lining the counter tops
and floors,
sticky with sweetness,
sticky with sweat.

hours at the stove steaming
and prodding and pulling,
wafts of breads,
pumpkin glop,
pies perfectly rounded,
pot roast waiting
for the midday meal.

it is recipe,
apple,
pumpkin,
zucchini,
bread,
pie,
harvest
season.

Juxtaposition

they are a juxtaposition
placed together for effect
tall as a beanpole
short as a stump
how could they fit?

it is a juxtaposition
that we are late
always early, us
always late, them
and now they’re complaining?

we are a juxtaposition
placed together for effect
introverted tech-o,
extroverted poet,
together making every position work.