My Actual Day

/ lovizmytrio / Leave a comment

if you could see my day
for an actual day
(never just ten minutes)

ribbons of confusion
would dance across your eyes
(your feet might dance too)

you would see how it moves
from smooth and easy
(perfection at its best)

to a conglomerate of
chaotic preteen desire
mixed with teacherly sarcasm

you would see them
for who they really are
(see me for who I really am)

and you would know
you would actually know
when what I say is right.

but

i will accept your
harried commentary
(we are all harried)

if you can accept
a compliment that
everyone knows

everyone, everyone knows
(the one thing they hate to know)
is the truth.

they are amazing
amazing amazing
and some day

(if you could see my day,
my actual day)
you, too, will know this.

The Mighty Pen

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it’s nice to hear a bit of cheer
when sometimes darkness chimes
to know a student can be prudent,
despite the wrath, choose the right path
i am beguiled by what was worthwhile
the mighty pen led him in
now med school awaits his tools
i hope one day he’ll come to say
that education is the way.

Word Play

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with a good dose of whines
(and a serious lack of wine)
we are headed for the top
(there’s a lake resting atop)

three versions of complaints
(parents no longer compliant)
we have reached the waterfall
(soon we’ll see their water fall)

the log is begging to be climbed upon
(the legs are begging to be peed upon)
they topple into a mesh of moss
(the log it tumbles right across)

i should suppress my loud laughter
(I can’t help but laugh at her)
no more than a scratch they’re disturbed
(our hike is no longer perturbed)

Ever

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standing between this moment and that one
we’ve drawn an imperceptible line
(only our hearts can see it)
how it hovers over us
darkness enveloping
the light we should share

standing between this moment and that one
i can still see the other moment
(it is mine, it is ours)
and i want to take a giant eraser
and clear the board
of every line
every imperceptible line
that ever has
that ever will
that forever will never
divide us.

Warriors

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don’t go off the sidewalk
we warn as they abandon
their ice cream remnants
and dash to their brief
moment of freedom.

fearless leader number one
follows the handicap ramp
to its very edge, dangles
her arm like a proud warrior
over the parking lot,
two mini warriors behind,
waiting, watching, weaning
themselves into a new era
of independence.

Journal

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she begged me to read
the private words
(what would she discover?
what did she want to know?)

i had to remind her
of her age, her attitude,
her focus on the future
(even if it’s just tomorrow)

she’ll forget by then.
and the words? they’ll
still be there, waiting for
the day when someone
other than me is
ready to pry open the book
and discover the
window to my soul.

All I Have Lost

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amidst the chaos
of this day
(or any other)
i have missed a milestone
that even with pictures
i will never
be able to replicate

it is not the first
(nor the last).
it tears at
my heartstrings,
a reminder of
all i have lost
with everything
i have won.

i wait for the day
when what i’ve won
will fill the void
(the interminable
guilt-ridden void)
that encompasses
all i have lost.

Within (without)

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i knew what i had
held within my hands
(held right before my eyes)
in perfect amazement
how perfectly you
mesmerized them (me)

now i stand to the side
awkward and disappointed
holding back tears
as i ache for what we had together
(what your light shined
upon me, upon them)

she will never know this.
only you and i could
possibly understand
the perfect harmony
held within our hands
that they (we) will
have to live without.

Remorse

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i will swallow my remorse
as i (accidentally) open and close
this door, shutting out (shutting in)
the last of what was left.

you smile politely, in your moment
of meeting them for the first time
(it is no longer our moment)
and as i enter the chaotic world
i have chosen, i can only guess
where my stupidity will lead me next.

Pieces (Peace)

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like a hurricane where
it doesn’t belong, stress
has swooped in from a
once-peaceful tropical locale,
tearing down trees,
ripping off roofs,
destroying in its path
every last bit of calm
that the summer once
peacefully offered me.

i stare into the beast’s eye,
reminding me that the middle
is only a moment of waiting,
that the end will whip around
and leave remnants of the
past in pieces behind its
horrendously angry tail,
pieces I will pick up, put back
together, and swallow in peace.