begonia angel:
perfect wings and hollow center
symbol of my life
the most perfect park
the most perfect afternoon
marred by words, actions
my innocent girl
who only wanted this day
not a broken mom
but it's just a blur
one day bleeds into the next
watered with defeat
surrounded by blooms
(yet the reality kills)
as they slowly die
you can feel the heat
creeping into the photo
burning from within
i used to write poetry
broken lines, imperfect syllables, heart
so hard so imperfect so fucking bright
like the blue sky trying to break through and taunt a hailstorm but instead instead
instead
it's just ice
not the rain we needed to cool us in a heatwave
just ice
tearing through my well-tended garden
stealing the blue sky
steeling the blue eye
and ruining me
thank you for the “no.”
as phallic as this lupine
(allium ignored)
i will learn from this
(things i tell myself at night)
and grow a sagebrush
it will bloom purple
(you can’t see my true color)
and you can’t taste it
yet, here it blossoms
as beautiful as the home
you constantly loathe
i know. i know. i…
you don’t see what i see. stop.
but god. how it hurts.
these rare teen moments
everyone together; joy
minus jobs, school, stress
her party stayed dry
despite stress, rain, tent set-up
(smiles al around)
eighteen years finished
with this mask that hides us all
from society
blooming badminton
(a few moments of teen peace
before bickering)
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