my girl’s accepted
into her dream universe
filled with stardust, hope
i am not here now
forever staring at screens.
i am here. on skis.
an exhausting day
with my spirit-week “jersey”
and this fake smile
hidden by these masks
that have broken our world
like a rootless orchid
but this cat. this cat.
a soft purrfection presence
worth a real grin.
2020 ends
in the same way it began
(with downhill skiing)
2020 ends
nearly every way different
than a year ago
2020 brings
a balance of sorrow, joy
hidden behind masks
2020 ends
with screens controlling our lives
(searching for meaning)
2021
with its 5-syllable self
will bring us new hope
One of my students just called me and in his very broken English told me I upset him in class today because I wasn’t on screen the whole time. He was in tears and his father yelled at him. Why wasn’t I on screen the whole time?
Because I was walking around my classroom trying to check in on the twelve kids who showed up today. Because I was trying to get two kids who have done zero work because of their utter terror of technology finally logged into our textbook.
Because I was making a tiny bit of progress with two kids, and breaking another.
Because it’s 2020 and I don’t know how to teach anymore. 💔
But I wore this mask and put up the new background fireworks to celebrate a candidate who literally has the power to change or save their lives and their families’ lives, and I smiled.
So why am I crying now?
a small taste of truth
in every word of their songs
(i can watch from here)
hours of phone calls
texts pleading in languages
i don’t even speak
setting up my room
with a yardstick and some hope
ready for today
social media
comments on our lack of space
(century-old school)
2020 wins.
after this, i just give up.
no one came to school.
to walk empty halls
without the student voices
cold. slow. loveless. death.
endless tabs open
Google Meets tries to cheer us
but we’re stuck on screens
remote learning sucks
except with a cat or mat
how we love our home
i broke free today
with packets for every kid
(delivered by me)
and to top it off
i made me a home office
for online learning
(but it still won’t work
we all know relationships
are all that will work)
Step Write Up 