scheduling request
based on lawsuits they have lost
adds work to my plate
there’s no equity
for teachers, kids, or parents
trying to get by
so i’ll wake early
make gradebooks for fake classes
and do twice the work
i just want to know:
who has time to litigate
with kids in their life?
questions unanswered
to close a winter Monday
just sprinkled with sun
truth
Stolen
thievery on kids
with granted Christmas wishes:
a new kind of low
scooter happiness
snatched from public library
while books stole our hearts
between this and puke
and sis stuck in Kentucky
(in snow of all things)
this week weighs heavy
for this mom, sister, teacher
(no end to winter)
but the sun was high
and we’re rich with two jobs now
(solved our scooter blues)
and we have love here
stolen from youth to old age
given to these girls
Extraction
i’d like to break free
like our DNA pea lab
(alcohol release)
they questioned this choice
(this isn’t science class, Miss!) yet their eyes were bright
bright eyes keep me sane
when dark thoughts hover so close
to this extraction
they see where love is
hidden in cells’ nuclei
ready to break free
How Now?
how loud his voice is
when i hear it soberly
no numbness to mask
how aching my head
just shy of three weeks without
sugar going… gone
how did i get here?
the truth is too hard to bear
seen with my new eyes
how will i go on?
pounding head, clean liver, hope
for a better life
Retakes
three times last week lost
but i gave it one last try
and he finally came
this after new kids
weren’t told their schedules had changed
disrupting my class
this after failed quiz
that took half the class to start
on crap computers
after failed logins
on no less than five machines
forced copies, time lost
after failed group work
(new eval requirement
that i’ll never pass)
and pointless meeting
number one hundred fifteen
(equal to school days).
but… he came to lunch.
he redid, and passed, his quiz.
so this day is won.
Thoughts During Testing, Phase 1
half hour per kid
400 students to test:
nightmare formula
expectations lost
on those who make test money
(never worked with kids)
if they’d see our day
they’d cut this mindless bullshit
down to what’s needed
but they don’t know needs
they know only dollar signs
and we’re left to blame
Always a Top Ten
reasons why i stopped:
one–brutal voice in writing,
uncensored anger
two–not much laughter,
too much crying to count
(my tear stained regrets)
three–exhausted sleep
from too many restless nights
swimming in nightmares
four–so much good lost
on the desire to numb,
to not fully live
five–waste of money
in times when we had little,
in times when we’re rich
six–lust and lack of
mediocre love-making
blurred by consumption
seven–fat belly
of someone too far along
to give up this quick
eight–every bad choice
i have made as an adult
came from that bottle
nine–joy i once felt
disappeared on icy rocks
of my lost chances
ten–my daughters’ eyes
watching every move i make
(and i’m making… them)
Spread It
this is just to say
the children can eat vegan
and cheer, not complain
small victories won
(cashews, beans, taco flavor)
to top our Tuesday
Follow Your Inner Voice
finally the talk
(though teen truth is not revealed)
but i’ll work on her
Twilit Trees
winter walk outlasts
the pouty mood she’s been in
(teen angst mystery)
perhaps she saw light
filtering through twilit trees
revealing herself
or found joy in steps
filled with imagination
shared by her sisters
whatever it is
that brings her bright smile back
i’ll take with this walk
Step Write Up 