What If?

what haunts me today:
 overheard conversation
 with the goal: no kids
 
 how free life would be–
 we could always do as pleased
 with no complaining
 
 i could ski all day
 and not have to wait on them
 (or wish they would come)
 
 weekend getaways?
 we could have one once a month
 (and even take hikes)
 
 we could protect Earth
 from all we’re taking from her
 with reproduction
 
 because it’s so hard.
 the constancy is. so. hard.
 when gratitude’s gone
 
 and bickering lives
 in every waking moment
 (even getaways)
 
 so the words we heard?
 amongst pool friends and laughter?
 they sting me slightly.
 
 cause i can see it–
 now that it’s too late, of course–
 i can see the choice.
 
 (it wasn’t my choice–
 i wanted and still want them.
 but it’s not easy)