thank you for the “no.”
as phallic as this lupine
(allium ignored)
i will learn from this
(things i tell myself at night)
and grow a sagebrush
it will bloom purple
(you can’t see my true color)
and you can’t taste it
yet, here it blossoms
as beautiful as the home
you constantly loathe
i know. i know. i…
you don’t see what i see. stop.
but god. how it hurts.
these rare teen moments
everyone together; joy
minus jobs, school, stress
my mother’s birthday
surrounded by flowers, kids,
laughter in all forms
her party stayed dry
despite stress, rain, tent set-up
(smiles al around)
eighteen years finished
with this mask that hides us all
from society
three-thirty a.m.
my oldest’s footsteps. good steps.
intentional steps.
this is not a moon.
this is a lunar eclipse.
(Super-Flower-Blood)
and she’ll be gone soon.
(no early-morning steps).
and i. am. eclipsed.
shadows of loss win
the afternoon shines bright.
(we still have our moon)
a midnight rainstorm
brought early this raging creek
and stole seed-planting
yet, cycle views burst
with blossoms of spring color
saving the lost day
my perfect symbol:
trying so hard for peaches
even while dying
graduation day
bleeds into normal doldrums
(life's quick, painful truths)
she graduates now
my baby girl, all grown up
in this Red Rock Land
