Underground

we’ll never be friends
i mean, she’s just too damn rich

(she’s so nice, i think)

but conversations
that end play dates in our ‘hood
put us in our place

it’s finally done!
it took so long to finish!
now the kids can play!

(unrelated: us
two basement woes, money lost
to floods and landlords)

million-dollar homes
do not need finished basements
but she won’t see that

and we’ll never talk
beyond the superficial
(it’s kept underground)

now the kids can play
1000 square feet: more space
between us and them

Two Birds… Different Stones

i won’t give in here
too early, too adamant
a long semester

they need the structure
in walls unlike those at home
where they’re free as birds

they’ll hate me for it
but learning is needed more
than a text message

but how their wrath wins
with flippant parents’ lose tongues,
lack of discipline

my daily fight ends
with bickering daughters, cries,
skipping yoga class

table talk of love
afterward: apologies,
coloring, and peace

i will give in here
love lies deeper, lasts longer
flies free as a bird

Pieceful Peace

red-letter day starts
with no meetings, extra plan
and ends with yoga

all baskets empty
week of copies, lesson plans
teacher’s piece of peace

students were pleasant
chess-club-induced quiet house
recharges my soul

soon they’ll bombard me
with high-strung voices of youth
different piece of peace

i’ll take the pieces
fit them into life’s puzzle
each day can bring peace

Catch Me a Moon

before dawn, i walk
full moon of icy danger
to be there for them

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classroom lit, open
first day, students new to me
i set standards high

phones, backtalk, shouting
first impression resistance
shake me to my core

after school begging
for schedule changes, fallbacks
they hate and love me

i missed my girls’ smiles
their good-morning kisses, hugs
to face this chaos?

slushy post-school walk
to their bright eyes, warm faces
lost in built-up play

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then, online ranting
plagiarizing grown student
demanding grade change

why you, and not them?
the question of my moon day
please… catch me a moon

make it bright like them
shining beyond snowy morn
lighting, guiding love

Enjoy Them

new year, back to work
meetings, trainings, pointless tests
(testing our patience)

no students today
semi-empty corridors
echo their absence

new resolutions
data, observations, goals
flood the teachers’ souls

i walk my mile home
with two six packs; ignore looks
(a friend’s thank-you gift)

girls are jubilant
a day alone with daddy
bright as this sunset:

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Cry Babies

realization:
i’m halfway through motherhood
(though it never ends)

ten-year-old letter
brought me back to those first days
late-night crying babes

but ten years from now?
they’ll all be out of the house
i’ll cry, my babies

when i open it
will my heart be sad, or lost
or, at best, hopeful?

will i be relieved
to think of my youngest girl
sitting in my lap?

or devastated
because she no longer will?
oh how i love them

but i’m halfway through
they’re better skiers than me
(and everything else)

no more crying babes
just the lust for lost moments
that hurt us then, now

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Write of Passage

our boots squeak with snow
light as sparkling feathers
quiet city streets

middle one agrees
to traipse in winter beauty
so much like her mom

this brings me to peace
from sleepless, sorrowful nights
my words lost, then found

like our snowy prints
only seen from right behind
otherwise ignored

my most precious gift
recorded for all my life
despised by loved ones

perhaps she will walk
behind my wordy footsteps
her write to escape

for now, quiet snow
i accept what i can’t change
and keep on writing

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White Christmas

her comments swallowed
like the Christmas morn semen
cranberry juice, please

i’m not defensive
just wish for white Christmases
like everyone else

i can win this game
Cards Against Humanity
with my best haiku

five girls are sleeping
in my parents’ bungalow
i love my city

my favorite movie
It’s a Wonderful Life, YES!!
live and Live and LIVE!!!!

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Roast Beast

for some it’s the tree
others love the Christmas lights
for me, it’s the roast

scent of cranberries
rosemary, thyme, and red wine
bring my holiday

we’re having roast beast!
the Grinch is absent today
in our happy home

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Enough

as they grow older
it’s no longer life and death
over midnight cries

now? supply, demand
business modeled parenting
what if we run out?

what can i buy or give
to make them happy, love me?
which–time or gifts?

it’s never enough
they’re either spoiled or loved
often hard to tell

give them the world
so they’ll toss it back to me
demand better one

it’s human nature
to aspire for what’s not there
i’m never enough

love should be enough
i’m up nights loving too much
(they never see this)

as they grow older
i miss the crying days when
i knew they loved me

a hug was enough
to make it through a tough time
and they were all mine

no one will say this
they’ll say how much easier
they’re independent

independent, yes
from our once easy embrace
to face life’s demands

and to demand more
to make me question myself
will this be enough?

no simple response
to parenthood dilemmas
enough guilt tonight