beach day ends summer
(though it’s already over)
school can kick our ass
she’ll paddle toward sun
let weekend sparkles shine through–
make this week worth it
with our lives packed up
these small moments so matter
more than i can say
even with the rain
that raced us back to our car
we dried off. and won.
she wants an answer
and i want a solution:
not an easy mix
i stare at Wash Park
paddles, crayfish everywhere
and think of that day
when we were problems
we were each other’s problems
and that was okay
she’d never been there
and we pedaled that huge bike
each one disabled
we ate what we ate
we chewed what we chewed: bitter
yet: so fucking sweet
and why i hate now:
because i have everything
(nothing without her)
money doesn’t buy
that once-in-a-lifetime love
trapped inside boxes
so what’s my answer?
there’s no easy solution
to a broken heart
but let us fix it
pedal away from Wash Park
be wholly ourselves
red sky at night brings…
allergies, fires, candles…
and love. my love. love!
red sky at morning
sailors give warning: heart bursts
for what’s lost at night
eyes burning, itching
allergies taking over
lost words from far back
yet, i’m so happy
house tucked into dream pocket
i could let this go
this and my students
who deserve America
(this dream we all have)
and i’ll fight for them
and she’ll praise him, she’ll praise him
(but he wouldn’t fight)
and we all know it–
how deep my love grows. hard ass?
abso-fuck-lutely
hard ass, heart of gold.
that you can’t forget. you can’t.
and why now, why now?
cause it’s easy now?
cause you have a house, a home?
cause we’re good enough?
cause we were good then,
as golden as these lost days.
i’ll keep my days. thanks.
joy in small moments
imaginary play land
in parks, museums
with windows wide: write.
because you’ve missed my poems, love.
since yesterday’s dawn
girls in sun’s shadow
as she announces her move.
life: cycle in, out.
you know you’ve missed me
my “seven-likes” followers
’cause i didn’t write
you count me daily
amongst the regular loves
that make us a life
and i was just born.
(it was like i was just born
the day i met him)
’cause seventeen years
can’t be measured in mountains
or wildflowers
or whining children.
but in the steps we oft take
on our way back home
and in sunsets. Sun!
lighting my way across love
across city, life.
cutting down this ‘hood
into what it’s meant to be:
scraped, demolished, lost.
circular i am
because that’s how tires spin:
neverending globe
that brings us back home
wherever that home may be.
anywhere but here.
in thirty-eight years
he’s made me miracles
(since before we met)
miracle one: birth–
an afterthought, late-marriage,
named-after-dad fourth
miracle two: shy–
wouldn’t say more than needed
from grade school on up
miracle three: serve–
mother, father, siblings, friends,
country, lovers… wife
miracle four: kids
who can capture his essence
in smiles, sweetness
miracle five: love–
couldn’t come to broken hearts
till we met. and healed.
miracle six: hope–
’cause without him there’d be none.
happy birthday, Babes.
joy found in river
dipped in snowmelt for hot days
better than a beach
no hot tub lies here
just a circular rock wall
perfect for chilling
Colorado sun
mixed with friends, camping, river:
rays of happiness
blue moon this July
because of this rare campout?
old friends united
over the mountains
it fills sky with silver light
it guided us home
tomorrow? August
all the stress and joy it brings
to our small family
but for now? spotlight
reminding of our past
our future lit up
all ages love boats,
skyline tower views, no waves,
island tree climbing
parks make cities nice
waterfront, shady, crowd free
not these skyscrapers
multicolored ride
subway, tunnel underground
(to hide from winter)
what about fresh air?
facing the snowy cold day?
not in Toronto
for now, sun shines through
we see commerce’s belly
windows heaven down
it’s hard to picture
winter’s isolating freeze
(even fruit hides here)
that’s what it’s like now
just before our trek back home
(last time i’ll see her)
in tunnels, hiding
just like friendships wax and wane
waiting to come back
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