Chemical Wordfare

for liberty’s sake
chemicals dropped from the sky
burn the communists

our government saves
the young boys it sent to war
now dying old men

but in Viet Nam?
cancer, deformities, death
are all we offer

Monday’s lesson stings
the words of a war veteran
burn like Agent Orange

Revelation

estoy de goma
rubber burning insides out
what was i thinking?

stress toasted with fun
drinks in hand, trick-or-treating
but i got tricked

my worst hangover
while baby cuddled me warm
pajamas all day

will i ever learn
that joy is in their faces
not in this poison?

cold reality
when we hide behind costumes
and drink to tell truths

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Soul Searching

not a single soul
in this forty-person room
has guts to speak truth

sadly, nor do i
phone in hand, blog post ready
[i can’t lose her now]

you see, i’ve lost her
and the darkness in my heart?
no match on this Earth

so i won’t speak truth
i’ll sugar-coat it, smile, nod:
age brings clarity

in that clarity
drink-free, sunny fall Sunday
i die to tell all

in her card, later
she’ll see every word and cry
for all that’s lost, gained

she couldn’t find words
only pics, video, songs
everything for him

i still feel empty
she texts me later, heart burned
you’re the only one…

even her husband
didn’t know who her dad was
[i’ve known her longer]

after the speeches
seeing her, baby in arms?
the love. of my life.

she is my best friend
her loss is my loss, our loss
never hers alone

bubbles in the sky
blown from his loving, warm lips
i live her longing

not a single soul
who speaks, making him perfect
will dare speak the truth

will i dare speak it?
a shadow follows her life
dark, drinking daddy

The Other Side of Sorrow

before dawn alarm
lesson planning just can’t wait
always on my mind

six a.m. invite
curly-haired house of welcome
piano and grins

inside the lead walls?
plea for more books, print, copy
teach the world’s kids

order sympathy
on an unsigned card of hate
my heart sees flowers

psychologist’s help
ends with failing soccer star
begs for a grade change

policies can’t write
or change the screaming patient
that closes my day

teary, manly hugs
from those arms that ask for more
doctors don’t listen

at dark i drive home
day wholly spent on others
to hear more sad news

such is adult life
no more hide and seek for me
everything exposed

but how their eyes light
as they share their days’ stories
must. remember. JOY

Road, River, Range

It is probably best that you dissented. That Wii and dinner preparation were more important than this Sunday afternoon ride.

We all have our releases. Yours is cutting onions and spinning tires in an imaginary resort. Mine is spinning tires in the real world, on concrete paved just for my bicycle.

I was first out of the gate, ready to win. For one hour, I was not anybody’s mother. Anybody’s teacher. Anybody’s wife. Anybody’s (even the one who lost her baby) friend. I was just a cyclist, three words to my name: “On your left!!” shouted to the tops of the peaks. Ringing out over my music. Move out of my way because there are not enough miles, not enough breaths in my lungs, not enough songs on this playlist to pedal through this pain.

Only: Road, River, Range. That is all I wanted to see. That is all I wanted to pull into my soul this Sunday. Those blue Colorado skies, the perfectly paved path, the river that feeds us all, and the mountains that divide our continent. There is nothing in this world more beautiful than sweat trickling down a back, tight thigh muscles, clicking gears, and That View. I could live my whole life in that one hour, the numbness of nightmares disappearing with each and every mile.

Forget what she said on Friday. Or the horrible news that I might carry like a burden for three weeks and she will carry for a lifetime. Forget that I came home to discover my husband’s mother rests on her death bed and my little girls can’t quite wrap their minds around anything deeper than the five-house alley-walk to their friend’s house.

Forget it all for this one breath-stealing shout-out: Road, River, Range. Placed here for me, for all of us, to tackle with this perfect body someone gave me to live on this Earth.

The three R’s. Only a different lesson.

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Labor Day

baby stops mid-hill
after fifteen miles, done
she’s still my winner

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i will wait for her
as we end this Labor Day
she is my last one

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my beach day Denver
filled with beautiful sun girls
swimming and cycling

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dreams are made this way
blue skies, wood-fired pizza, sun
and spinning tires

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confluence meets park
bike path meets Vittetoe fam
we meet our happy

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summer’s end flowers
and a zip line that beats Spain’s
best spent allowance

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unions gave day off
for sleeping in and waffles
life’s a rented dream

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i think in haikus
in between Monday cycles
that bring creeks and joy

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Cycling Saturday

thirty-three mile ride
sunflowers to skyscrapers
all on a bike path

if this isn’t home
to find yourself on two wheels
Denver beckons you

no pictures today
tires spin too fast to stop
memory stores love

Prepubescent Exploration

innocent zoo trip
obscene scene not to be seen
look, he has two trunks!

saved by water show
he forgets his bold catwalk
trainer blames teen angst

stories of summer
popcorn, snow cones, puberty?
the birds and the bees

better lesson now:
friends by day’s end, sharing slurps
two trunks forgotten

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When I Come Home

windy uphill ride
ended with teddy bear warmth
symbol of our life

Agua de Vida

hot springs aquifer
sulphur carved what man could not
nature’s history

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