truth

Candidate

/ lovizmytrio / 1 Comment

you were born for this.
where are the voters?
i’m waiting for your
slanderous commercial
against candidates
who can’t compete.

it will surely follow
your quick quips
and intelligent,
well-read responses.

your video clips
and “inspiring messages”
are lost upon us, however.

please keep in mind
that your three-minute experience
with Mandarin Chinese
does not compensate
your obvious inadequacies.

we see your vision.
it’s as bright as the sun
on the first day of summer,
reminding us why we shed
these hard-earned skins
and spend those glorious months
with our children.

that time is something you,
10-month-old and all,
couldn’t possibly fit
into your perfect PowerPoint.

don’t worry, Dr.
we’ll watch the video
of today’s presentation
on YouTube.

after a few beers,
your words will be like the Mandarin:
foreign, bubbles burgeoning
out of the sea,
waiting for the moment
when the commercial will end,
when the reality of your ignorance
will shine in the summer sun.

Gratitude

/ lovizmytrio / Leave a comment

here they are,
a pink epiphany
of what we could have been
as you stand curiously
reading my poems.

how funny that you see
and don’t see me
in the same moment.

i mark their papers,
her papers,
in green felt pen.
she will thank me later
with her dry wit,
her handing over of lessons,
her listening to my ideas.

you give me the check
(less than last year)
and wobble your hips,
your smile plastered on lips.
i nod,
my own lips (for once) sealed.
because everything,
the papers,
the poems on the counter,
the music you and i both love
playing quietly on the computer,
you in your room,
i in theirs,
everything is in its place,
and there are no words
that can describe my gratitude
as you pass through the door.

Inheritance

/ lovizmytrio / Leave a comment

it is true what i say:
i have no idea who you are
or why he married you
or why it is that
you put your hands on her
whose sting
carried over
into the shadows of my childhood.

i know i wouldn’t be here
spitting out these vicious words
if it weren’t for
your egg, his seed.
and i am thankful for that.

but your countenance?
your picture in my memory?
it is nothing more than
a vague recollection,
a fuzzy image,
rough around the edges,
someone who couldn’t remember my name
nor cared to ever learn it.

when you go,
tears will be shed,
but not mine, nor my mother’s.
we all know this is true.
you have lived your life,
given purpose to what we want:
to be better mothers,
to stretch our love
into those shadowy places
where your hands couldn’t reach.

Resolution

/ lovizmytrio / Leave a comment

the end is near
and it can’t come fast enough
but i can still see
the year in its entirety
laid out like a lemonade stand
everything for sale
just a quarter
as the neighbors march by
and i make no money

i wait here for the moment
when it will all be resolved
when the new year
will be resolved, resolved, resolved
as if i need a solution
again, again, again.

perhaps when the ball drops
i will know what it will be.

Offstage

/ lovizmytrio / Leave a comment

I’m still here
though only a shadow
of who you think you know.

i’ve shined my light
a bit too bright
so i think i’ll step offstage.

it’s comfortable here
behind these velvet curtains
i’m not questioned, not uncertain.

but i see you trying to peek,
wondering how i learned to be meek.
what i learned instead? how to be me.

Reminder

/ lovizmytrio / Leave a comment

thanks for the quick
and painful reminder
of why i never ask you for anything.
i’ll just tuck it under my sleeve
with all the others
that are crammed somewhere
in my layers of clothing
and try to use your reminder
(and its inability to keep me warm)
as a reminder
of how much more
i need to
reach out to them,
strip them free
of useless, painful notes
and wrap them in
the warmth of love
that your reminder
has tried to take from my heart.

Questions

/ lovizmytrio / Leave a comment

Are we all (as my mother says)
self-absorbed Americans
bragging about our travels,
our milestones, our children,
our every little stupid success
in an age when technology
brings us together
and tears us apart?

What is the purpose
of these tools I use to write
these words, of
sending a message out
to potentially thousands,
but really only a few,
readers of my news?

And while I’m asking,
when will this bring,
instead of frustration
and anxiety, a sense
of belonging, of relief,
as I have begged for it to?

Advance Notice

/ lovizmytrio / Leave a comment

with these words
that you think harmless
you have set the tone
for weeks of mediocrity.

thank you, however,
for letting me know
with advance notice
what not to expect from you.

Birthday Party

/ lovizmytrio / 1 Comment

it is her first invite
(i wish it was her last)
and we sit in awkward silence
exchanging knowing looks

we’re surrounded by excess fat
skimmed off meat
once set aside just for the rich that has
oozed into our barely-middle class neighborhood

in gluttonous globs it surrounds
even the youngest rosy cheeks,
tripping and slipping their every step
as they unwrap, unwrap, unravel.

by coming here today, we are guilty,
and though our portion size is smaller,
it sits at the edge of the heaped-to-ceiling plate,
torn to bits in minutes by a ferocious four-year-old.

we take our leftovers in six baggies home,
but they are not for the dog. they are for us,
our girls, to chew on all evening, to try and
fill the growling hole in our gut-wrenched stomachs.

Wool

/ lovizmytrio / Leave a comment

you may think i have wool
that blinds me from your version
of reality. but i pulled that back
ten years ago with my degree,
so don’t think you can
blindfold me again, as you do them,
the bleating sheep who wander
in their field of frustrated naivete.

i will pull it back, this wicking wool
that hides your response in
its porous, scratchy fibers. and i
will see the truth for what it is:
without the wool, you have no cover
for your reckless requirements, just as i
have no reason to cover my knowledge
with the cries of your freshly sheared sheep.