truth

Bittersweet

/ lovizmytrio / Leave a comment

With what is left
We will take a bite
Of this bitter cake

You will pretend it’s sweet
And I will say the truth
(the brutal truth) as always

It will coat your palette
Leave crumbs on your tongue
That keep you from talking.

When we kiss, its mix of flavors
Will linger between your mouth and mine
(but you won’t wholly share it)

As pungent as a blackberry
Squeezing its midsummer juices
Into the sugary cobbler,

With what is left
We will take a bite
And I too will taste what you call sweet.

My Actual Day

/ lovizmytrio / Leave a comment

if you could see my day
for an actual day
(never just ten minutes)

ribbons of confusion
would dance across your eyes
(your feet might dance too)

you would see how it moves
from smooth and easy
(perfection at its best)

to a conglomerate of
chaotic preteen desire
mixed with teacherly sarcasm

you would see them
for who they really are
(see me for who I really am)

and you would know
you would actually know
when what I say is right.

but

i will accept your
harried commentary
(we are all harried)

if you can accept
a compliment that
everyone knows

everyone, everyone knows
(the one thing they hate to know)
is the truth.

they are amazing
amazing amazing
and some day

(if you could see my day,
my actual day)
you, too, will know this.

My Moon

/ lovizmytrio / Leave a comment

the music has ended
(crickets are singing now)
and there are no cicadas here

their tiny legs call out to us
in the deep of night and the
light shining on my belly?

it is like that night under the moon
white sand encircling our toes
where i walked to the water alone

you remember. how anger and
longing threw us apart, how i
imagined a trip there alone, with them.

in a perfect circle, the moon
led me along the beach, wind
whispering the truth to me

we didn’t have electricity
a bathroom or a camper,
nothing but haste and desire

i think of this now only because
of the songs you have chosen
now ended, given in to insects

i will carry them (the music of
our lives) to sleep along with my moon.
i would be lost without it.

Question

/ lovizmytrio / Leave a comment

unusually demure
her face reddens
tips down (shame?
fear? abandonment?)
avoids the question.

her eyes zip from
side to side quick
as a predatory cat
i can’t tell if she’s
nodded or shaken
the truth from her head.

i will know soon
but just as our own
questions burn between us
soon is not now
now is not tomorrow
and tomorrow (i) fear
is a little too late.

Perception

/ lovizmytrio / Leave a comment

she could be quoting my words
(from another time)
driving through the town with its decrepit
buildings, broken down cars
crashed in signs
and lack of traffic
i whisper across to him,
“what a dump.”
within five seconds
(the time it takes to remember
my favorite novel,
to recount the town’s significance,
to get to the other end)
she announces,
“what a cute little town.”

a day later
we sit on the porch
where two disabled neighbors wait
to board the
fifteen-passenger bus
with cracked windshield,
rust-covered roof,
and a muffler heard a mile away.
“look, it’s a limousine,”
the oldest daughter this time,
and i wonder if it
is my perception
or theirs
that is invalid.

Watching from a Window

/ lovizmytrio / Leave a comment

Watching from a window
Any voyeur can see your life
(the emanating love that
Masks the secretive sadness)

But i am not a voyeur, only a lonely
Lost soul (aren’t we all?) and
I can see it hidden behind this
Picture-window view (between the lines)

Because i have been inside your soul
(though currently an outcast) and still recall
The time when you and I were innocent schoolgirls,
Watching from a window how we pictured the world.

Delete

/ lovizmytrio / Leave a comment

just when i think my heart has moved on
you haunt me with messages in my dreams
forcing me to sever this one last tie that
has kept me connected to you (your life
without me) for more than a year.

it is just a click of one button (delete)
that eliminates all the hope held somewhere
within me, the hope that hovers inside my
dreams, sticking around like a bee in a
field of non-native clover.

it is just a click of one button (delete)
that i hope will rid the constant imagery,
the begging for forgiveness, the desire
that i have (that i have always had) for
you to love me as much as i have loved you.

it is just a click of one button (delete)
that i hadn’t the strength to push until today,
one year later, closing the screen (closing
my heart) to the amazing person that you (I)
have missed because of too many button clicks.

Vibrancy

/ lovizmytrio / 3 Comments

Life just the way I want to live it
even if it means
shooting out words
that no one else would say
because I’m me
and

I am wild
like the lions on the savannah
searching for food
that truly the cheetahs
have killed
but I’ll take it
if it means surviving

Life just the way I want to live it
even if it means
shooting out words
that everyone else wants to say
but won’t
I will because

I am wild
and no one can tame
the fire in my soul,
no one can bury this burden
of yearning that I hold,
so I must dig it out myself,
I must be myself.

Ode to Computer God

/ lovizmytrio / Leave a comment

my eyes burn with such distaste
that i cannot even see the good in you
your inadequacies pile up
like a hot load of shit
after eating too many chiles
and i want to pick up giant chunks
of it and splatter them
all over your face

just because you think you’re God
of the computer world
does not mean that you have
to fuck over the good deed
that i attempted today.

you know who you are.
and if you expect to see
any more hundreds of dollars
coming out of my measly paycheck
to feed your ignorance,
you better find a way
to make it up to me.

Licking Our Wounds

/ lovizmytrio / Leave a comment

although your eyes weren’t meant
to read those words
i’m still glad that you know
because it’s the truth
and you’re right,
i should have told you before.

it’s all in the past now,
and we won’t be walking
hand in hand today
or ever.

but i will still remember
how well you knew me
(personally anyway)
even if you could never
quite see my professional side.

and though it is awkward now
time will lick our wounds clean
i will no longer have nightmares
and we will both be
more careful about
the things we say
and the things we do.